Monday, January 17, 2011

I'm kinda stoked that you read the whole of Part I (you probably could have done other stuff in those 5-7 minutes). I know that was ridiculously long. Well I commend you and anyone else for that and thank you for spending your time on me. I hope I could get a little closer to you. So give me your permission to continue further.

Food wise, I’m not fussy about it. I’m not a junk food fan but I can’t resist to homemade food. The happiest meal for me is suja, rice and red chilli ema datshi. I hated cooking till my undergrad. During my student life I skipped home economics. So I’m very insecure about my culinary prowess. I never had to cook while I lived with my parents. I just needed to order food. But now that I need to cook, I have learnt few recipes here and there. Having said that, I can make a mean datshi of every vegetable. I can make my version of pasta and spaghetti. I will serve you when I next meet you if it falls on a Saturday (I have my own superstitious reasons). Yes, I’m a superstitious person. I have a superstition of seeing a bottle of milk to bring good luck.

I’m too emotional! This is the hardest part for me now. I’m romantic at heart (I seldom show this to the Martian). I have always hidden this until now but I’m doing it just for you. I love LOVE and I’m a secret sucker for romance too. It could be in the form of romantic movies, romantic songs, romantic books, relationships, gifts, Valentine’s Day, an evening walk, et cetera. I agree that ‘Love is the greatest emotion in the world’’. Every big and little thing in our life has love in it. In truth, like any other girl I’m waiting for the day my dream man will appear in front of me. Yes, I would like to be swept off my feet and then run far away to the Neverland. It’s the fault of those romantic movies and books which had an irrevocable influence on me. But there is this little intuition that says me that ideal romance do exists. You could say I’m an idealist at heart, waiting for the ultimate one. Meanwhile I would pick Imran Khan to go on a fantasy date in case I don’t get dates with Won Bin.

Well, there’s a long checklist of requirements for what it takes to be my perfect man. I will share FEW of them here. I’m a curious cat, so should be Intelligent to answer my infinite questions. I want to be bored yet entertained incessantly by the one I’m with, so should be witty, charming with a healthy sense of humour. Should be trustworthy (I could say almost anything). I hate Liars, so no pretensions. Should be kind to me, you and all. All this while I have been lifting those heavy boxes, for a change I would like to have someone who can carry it for me. I want someone to help me control all the situations in my life, of course in a positive way. Should have some sort of connection, I don’t know what sort of but something that will keep me drawing towards him. May be some kind of feeling that people write about in novels. Patient enough to catch all the frequent tantrums that I must have to throw. Send me a text when he feels I sounded a bit low. I’m not talking about the looks but if he’s good looking that wouldn’t hurt at all (tongue out). In return (I want to borrow Pearl Jam’s line) I would happily be the verb 'to trust' and never let you down. Wow! I said it all. This spares me from my matrimonial fee. But I feel sad that it’s difficult for me to find one. By the way, he can bypass the stuffed toys (there are only limited toys that I truly find cute and I can gift that myself). Is it something like ‘out of reach’? I know you see me like some wide eyed dreamer, but I’m not the only one here (you know that right?). I have also seen aplenty cases wherein ‘when love happens, the list doesn’t matter so much’. So those Martians who were about to give up impressing me can finally relax.

I’m a music fiend. I have a long-standing relationship with music. It is my escape into my utopia! Each word in the lyrics is so real. There is so much to relate and dedicate. I can listen to from start to finish and on repeat mode, the whole day and the next day and everyday. It plays an important role in my life. If you see me in a bad mood, sing me a song. That will make me cry first and then I’ll be back to normal (Well done, you just made my day!) It’s a crutch for me to lean on at all time. There is this wonderful association of listening to one particular song that makes you want to sing along especially ‘cause you have some memorable moments with each one (I have lots since I like burning CDs for my friends). I enjoy listening to a wide variety of music. I like the banjo. There is something about it that connects to me. I like the sound of acoustic guitar, violin and piano. I like listening to local music too. The only thing I hate about music is the loud and late night singing of a person that offends my eardrum while I’m in my dream world.

Singing is JC’s covert passion. I have a dream to sing (just in case one of the many bands out in the town is in dire need to recruit a new member). I can’t really do that so I attempt to sing while I do some karaoke, but it’s been a couple of years now. It’s so much fun just standing in front of the mike, taking a while to actually dedicate the song and then pouring out your emotions while the beat goes on and on. I love singing especially duets. I can spend hours and hours practicing alone. I have a raw video with me singing with one of my Thai friend that I met on a study tour in Bangkok. If my mood allows me I could share the video with you some day. I love car singing too especially along with Clarkson, Gaga and Perry. I used to own a guitar before but I never got a teacher who could teach me. Sadly, I never made the best use of it. I wish I could make music. At the moment I’m learning a Korean song so that I can make an impression on Won Bin on our first date (blush blush). I tell you it’s not as easy as we tend to feel while listening. I’m mortified to say but I’m just two lines through past two months. Fighting!

All my life I have hated the smell of perfume. But about a year ago, I bought some bottles of perfume and since then I have loved spraying perfumes. I was sort of left out in that department but I’m making up for lost time now. I love giving gifts and also getting them. It could be as simple as a nail clipper when I misplace mine or Vaseline for my cracked heel. I'm still beyond obsessed with the book ‘A Walk to Remember’. It still gives me the goose flesh even today! Whenever I want my dose of romance, I grab the book and I’m captivated by it. It’s everything I maybe wanted for myself when I was in college. I still can’t let it go.

I hate sharing. I rather sacrifice it for the other one in need than just carve up. I like helping others as much as I can if it has a positive effect on them. It takes two to share. I have also learnt that it’s not bad to be selfish. Because there are some things in life that are not meant to be shared, if you know what I mean. Sometimes I make sure I get my full share too.

So prolly now is the moment to come clean with you about my flaws. I’m pretty clumsy. I’m a geek per se. I’m moody. I can be harsh and rude to anyone. I have been given the name ‘tough’ by few of my friends. I hate cleaning floors. I’m nowhere near the concept of girl-next-door. I can make up excuses for almost everything if that saves me from scolding. Oh! Am I into my I-hate list? There is plethora of stuffs that I dislike. I hate peeling oranges. I have an aversion towards people who do matchmaking. I still wonder what Austen’s fascination was with matchmaking in Emma. I have many issues about phone. I hate when I want a call or a message and don’t get one. I hate people talking over phone when I’m right in front of them sitting alone, makes me feel like some idiot waiting for a free meal. I hate the feeling when people don’t message back right after I text them. I hate when the whole world rings me when either my battery is low or I’m busy.

I hate all those double meaning jokes. I cannot digest lies and I hate liars to my bones.  I hate those extended meetings and boring speeches. It’s so sleepy and annoying. I hate mosquitoes. I hate my bad hair days. I hate when I see my nails filled with dirt. As determined as I’m, I can be adamant. I have to win an argument even if I have to contradict myself sometimes. I can be a drama queen too. Most important I don’t do favours for free. Okay, I was kidding about the later. I was checking on you if you skipped few lines ‘cause I already said that I like lending a helping hand. Regardless of these downbeat semblances, I’m living my days the way I like with so many lessons to learn. Life has been amazing and I maybe, have started liking being imperfect. ‘Cause that’s the way, JC’s way!

Phew!!! So this is it. These were some of the things that only few of my closest friends already know. Some of the things were for you, for those who wanted to be friends with me and in some ways I couldn’t be one (I would like to believe that way). There were also few things that nobody ever knew about. I hope I got to say it exactly about who I really am in real life. Now I’m wondering what you are wondering about what I’m and I’m not? Lastly but certainly not the least, I may not be perfect, however, I will never change (but I will never stay the same either). It’s a Leo thing again, I suppose.

I read a wonderful quote once "everyone tells me that I've changed, but the truth is that I've just stopped living my life their way". I’m sure it’s true for most of you; it definitely speaks for me! Ain’t people right when they say that we should never apologize for the way we are? So be yourself, always! Happy rediscovering yourself!

Me Still, JC

PS. Can you handle me the way I'm are?


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