THE WAY I ARE! (PART II)

I'm kinda stoked that you read the whole of Part I (you probably could have done other stuff in those 5-7 minutes). I know that was ridiculously long. Well I commend you and anyone else for that and thank you for spending your time on me. I hope I could get a little closer to you. So give me your permission to continue further.

Food wise, I’m not fussy about it. I’m not a junk food fan but I can’t resist to homemade food. The happiest meal for me is suja, rice and red chilli ema datshi. I hated cooking till my undergrad. During my student life I skipped home economics. So I’m very insecure about my culinary prowess. I never had to cook while I lived with my parents. I just needed to order food. But now that I need to cook, I have learnt few recipes here and there. Having said that, I can make a mean datshi of every vegetable. I can make my version of pasta and spaghetti. I will serve you when I next meet you if it falls on a Saturday (I have my own superstitious reasons). Yes, I’m a superstitious person. I have a superstition of seeing a bottle of milk to bring good luck.

I’m too emotional! This is the hardest part for me now. I’m romantic at heart (I seldom show this to the Martian). I have always hidden this until now but I’m doing it just for you. I love LOVE and I’m a secret sucker for romance too. It could be in the form of romantic movies, romantic songs, romantic books, relationships, gifts, Valentine’s Day, an evening walk, et cetera. I agree that ‘Love is the greatest emotion in the world’’. Every big and little thing in our life has love in it. In truth, like any other girl I’m waiting for the day my dream man will appear in front of me. Yes, I would like to be swept off my feet and then run far away to the Neverland. It’s the fault of those romantic movies and books which had an irrevocable influence on me. But there is this little intuition that says me that ideal romance do exists. You could say I’m an idealist at heart, waiting for the ultimate one. Meanwhile I would pick Imran Khan to go on a fantasy date in case I don’t get dates with Won Bin.

Well, there’s a long checklist of requirements for what it takes to be my perfect man. I will share FEW of them here. I’m a curious cat, so should be Intelligent to answer my infinite questions. I want to be bored yet entertained incessantly by the one I’m with, so should be witty, charming with a healthy sense of humour. Should be trustworthy (I could say almost anything). I hate Liars, so no pretensions. Should be kind to me, you and all. All this while I have been lifting those heavy boxes, for a change I would like to have someone who can carry it for me. I want someone to help me control all the situations in my life, of course in a positive way. Should have some sort of connection, I don’t know what sort of but something that will keep me drawing towards him. May be some kind of feeling that people write about in novels. Patient enough to catch all the frequent tantrums that I must have to throw. Send me a text when he feels I sounded a bit low. I’m not talking about the looks but if he’s good looking that wouldn’t hurt at all (tongue out). In return (I want to borrow Pearl Jam’s line) I would happily be the verb 'to trust' and never let you down. Wow! I said it all. This spares me from my matrimonial fee. But I feel sad that it’s difficult for me to find one. By the way, he can bypass the stuffed toys (there are only limited toys that I truly find cute and I can gift that myself). Is it something like ‘out of reach’? I know you see me like some wide eyed dreamer, but I’m not the only one here (you know that right?). I have also seen aplenty cases wherein ‘when love happens, the list doesn’t matter so much’. So those Martians who were about to give up impressing me can finally relax.

I’m a music fiend. I have a long-standing relationship with music. It is my escape into my utopia! Each word in the lyrics is so real. There is so much to relate and dedicate. I can listen to from start to finish and on repeat mode, the whole day and the next day and everyday. It plays an important role in my life. If you see me in a bad mood, sing me a song. That will make me cry first and then I’ll be back to normal (Well done, you just made my day!) It’s a crutch for me to lean on at all time. There is this wonderful association of listening to one particular song that makes you want to sing along especially ‘cause you have some memorable moments with each one (I have lots since I like burning CDs for my friends). I enjoy listening to a wide variety of music. I like the banjo. There is something about it that connects to me. I like the sound of acoustic guitar, violin and piano. I like listening to local music too. The only thing I hate about music is the loud and late night singing of a person that offends my eardrum while I’m in my dream world.

Singing is JC’s covert passion. I have a dream to sing (just in case one of the many bands out in the town is in dire need to recruit a new member). I can’t really do that so I attempt to sing while I do some karaoke, but it’s been a couple of years now. It’s so much fun just standing in front of the mike, taking a while to actually dedicate the song and then pouring out your emotions while the beat goes on and on. I love singing especially duets. I can spend hours and hours practicing alone. I have a raw video with me singing with one of my Thai friend that I met on a study tour in Bangkok. If my mood allows me I could share the video with you some day. I love car singing too especially along with Clarkson, Gaga and Perry. I used to own a guitar before but I never got a teacher who could teach me. Sadly, I never made the best use of it. I wish I could make music. At the moment I’m learning a Korean song so that I can make an impression on Won Bin on our first date (blush blush). I tell you it’s not as easy as we tend to feel while listening. I’m mortified to say but I’m just two lines through past two months. Fighting!

All my life I have hated the smell of perfume. But about a year ago, I bought some bottles of perfume and since then I have loved spraying perfumes. I was sort of left out in that department but I’m making up for lost time now. I love giving gifts and also getting them. It could be as simple as a nail clipper when I misplace mine or Vaseline for my cracked heel. I'm still beyond obsessed with the book ‘A Walk to Remember’. It still gives me the goose flesh even today! Whenever I want my dose of romance, I grab the book and I’m captivated by it. It’s everything I maybe wanted for myself when I was in college. I still can’t let it go.

I hate sharing. I rather sacrifice it for the other one in need than just carve up. I like helping others as much as I can if it has a positive effect on them. It takes two to share. I have also learnt that it’s not bad to be selfish. Because there are some things in life that are not meant to be shared, if you know what I mean. Sometimes I make sure I get my full share too.

So prolly now is the moment to come clean with you about my flaws. I’m pretty clumsy. I’m a geek per se. I’m moody. I can be harsh and rude to anyone. I have been given the name ‘tough’ by few of my friends. I hate cleaning floors. I’m nowhere near the concept of girl-next-door. I can make up excuses for almost everything if that saves me from scolding. Oh! Am I into my I-hate list? There is plethora of stuffs that I dislike. I hate peeling oranges. I have an aversion towards people who do matchmaking. I still wonder what Austen’s fascination was with matchmaking in Emma. I have many issues about phone. I hate when I want a call or a message and don’t get one. I hate people talking over phone when I’m right in front of them sitting alone, makes me feel like some idiot waiting for a free meal. I hate the feeling when people don’t message back right after I text them. I hate when the whole world rings me when either my battery is low or I’m busy.

I hate all those double meaning jokes. I cannot digest lies and I hate liars to my bones.  I hate those extended meetings and boring speeches. It’s so sleepy and annoying. I hate mosquitoes. I hate my bad hair days. I hate when I see my nails filled with dirt. As determined as I’m, I can be adamant. I have to win an argument even if I have to contradict myself sometimes. I can be a drama queen too. Most important I don’t do favours for free. Okay, I was kidding about the later. I was checking on you if you skipped few lines ‘cause I already said that I like lending a helping hand. Regardless of these downbeat semblances, I’m living my days the way I like with so many lessons to learn. Life has been amazing and I maybe, have started liking being imperfect. ‘Cause that’s the way, JC’s way!

Phew!!! So this is it. These were some of the things that only few of my closest friends already know. Some of the things were for you, for those who wanted to be friends with me and in some ways I couldn’t be one (I would like to believe that way). There were also few things that nobody ever knew about. I hope I got to say it exactly about who I really am in real life. Now I’m wondering what you are wondering about what I’m and I’m not? Lastly but certainly not the least, I may not be perfect, however, I will never change (but I will never stay the same either). It’s a Leo thing again, I suppose.

I read a wonderful quote once "everyone tells me that I've changed, but the truth is that I've just stopped living my life their way". I’m sure it’s true for most of you; it definitely speaks for me! Ain’t people right when they say that we should never apologize for the way we are? So be yourself, always! Happy rediscovering yourself!

Me Still, JC

PS. Can you handle me the way I'm are?

THE WAY I ARE! (PART I)

"I have no special talents. I’m only passionately curious." - Albert Einstein.

"I have no special talents. I’m only passionately curious." - JC.

For the last few months, I've been writing on this blog. Somehow I felt comfortable writing about things that happen in my life. I’M (WO)MAN OF MY WORDS. So keeping my last promise, today as I slough off the skin, I take you a little closer to who I am and to my real world. Generally I’m always excited by anything but I’m very nervous about this one. It could be because I’m not vocal about my feelings. I’m very secretive. I always keep my personal feelings on a sly. It’s is a new thing that I’m writing few things about it in my blog. Otherwise, I won’t ever give a hint of what I fancy about. Those who don’t know me well enough always land up muttering that I don’t say the right thing at the right time. So I thought maybe I could write it all down so that next time someone says that, I will say “Hey, you gotta read this one!” And now, I’m excited for you to know about me and my stealthy confessions.

Well…Hi, I’m Jigme. I’ve been alive for 27 years now. I’m a normal one with my own share of choices, concerns, insecurities and everything hereafter (Welcome to my random musings). I’m a woman who can very well define my namesake - FEARLESS. I have been a loner. I totally love being on my own most of the time which has made me country strong & Independent. If there’s no Ophiuchus as the 13th Zodiac sign and my Zodiac sign has not changed, I’m a Leon! I once read a tweet saying when a Leo female walks into a room, it's almost as if a Queen just made an appearance. That’s for you to judge. We are infamously known to be arrogant, domineering, selfish, sensitive, snide, flashy and egoist. I do have a slight touch of these traits in me too. On the brighter side I’m very organized. I like to have my to-do list (helps me against my absentmindedness). I’m very particular about anything and everything. It means doing the right thing is very important to me.

I might not look one, but I’m easy-going and fun-loving person. I’m not very sociable but I love to hang out with my important people (especially my gang of girls). I normally prefer slumber party over others; cook, eat, drink, and laugh, make jokes and sleep over. I cannot work for 24 hours straight. I need to enter the amazing world of dreams while I take my beauty sleep (at least seven hours). I hate those nights when I have to skip but I can sacrifice few nights out of 365. I love taking naps (during weekends ‘cause that’s the only time I get to take) especially with my favorite playlist on. Something about it just feels right. I neither have the capacity nor an ardor to party. I would rather go out for a Karaoke with my friends. I love going out for morning breakfast and just hang out with them (I haven’t done that for quite sometime now). Family and friends are important; it’s just that I don’t need to spend hours engaging with them. Social validation isn’t my goal.

There are moments when I prefer chilling by myself (I need my space, a LOT). I love going on solo-drive, stop at some nice place and sit with a good book. I like almost everything about books; buying books, gifting books, receiving one as a gift, covering the book, turning the pages and arranging it on the shelf. I love reading. I mostly read books recommended by my ardent reader friends. Otherwise, I love reading books by Indian authors. I can so relate to the characters. It is so easy to actually associate with most of the things mentioned in the book. I love all genres of books mostly on philosophy, biographies, autobiographies, history, self-help, etc. You will also find romantic novels in the read list in my weRead bookshelf. These books have a breathtaking story that I guess never happen in reality. There is this loveliness in it which harks back at me of what I don’t have and what I want in real. It’s one of those means by which I can enter into a happily-ever-after world. And there’s so much great knowledge in books. At the moment I’m reading “The Law of Nature”.

I have my own collection of collecting stuffs. I have been doing philately since my school days. I have a small collection of coins and currencies. I like collecting hair clips. I like to treasure earrings, headbands, bangles, necklaces especially beads. I like to collect pencils and pens, even greeting cards. I like collecting souvenirs from the places I visit. I like collecting mobile straps. Recently I started hoarding refrigerator magnets (I’m on a mission to surprise my new housemate). By and large, I like to gather anything that falls into the category of ‘cute’.

I’m very old-fashioned, I still write letters and notes by hand. I love letters, be it writing letters or reading letters. Actually I love reading more than writing. I simply love reading all those so-called-love-letters. Makes me a romantic and senti person. I still love writing (quoting) sweet nothings from my favourite songs. And yes, you must have noticed I use way too many exclamation marks in my everyday typing, in texts, in my tweets, in my status! Oh I just used “!”. It makes me feel good, that’s it. I feel it expresses the emotion very well.

Like every other women I love shoes, flip flops in particular. I hate clothes shopping though. I don’t have patience to spend hours looking for something that’s not readily available. But I should admit I like spending my time in a handicraft and antique shops. It gives me an opportunity to admire and wonder about each piece displayed. Next time I find an antique shop, I’m gonna buy myself a compass. I desperately need with my horrible sense of direction to reach a place (and also in my life). I like fleece probably because I’m always freezing cold during winter.

I like watching movies. Friday is my movie night. If I’m not busy I make sure I watch at least two DVDs. It’s one of many things that help me revive my strength after a weeklong work. I’m a huge fan of romantic comedy and war movies. I love the whole idea of movie marathon with my favorite movies. I like Japanese anime movies, Korean drama series with American series. I’m not a TV person but I love channel surfing when I’m alone and have nothing else to do.

I have always loved British accent in my life though I haven’t really tried speaking myself. I do wish, pray and hope that I get to stay and pick up the accent. I’m telling you this ‘cause I don’t want to surprise you then. Otherwise I’m in love with the way how Leonardo DiCaprio says “huh!” in his movies. I’m his die-hard fan, both for his movies and his environmental activities (more on this in my upcoming blogs).

I love almost everything about BHUTAN. It’s my foremost interest. I love trekking through our jungle and mountains. I have developed this small interest in photography and backpacking. I love prayer flags posted all over. It’s so serene to see them standing tall on a top of a mountain. I like trying local vegetarian foods. I don’t have a sweet tooth. I like local dialects. I like languages and linguistics. I love the local dress our tribes and highlanders wear. I would like to wear them especially if it’s comfortable. I love travelling, a LOT! I love exploring new places, in-country or ex-country. I have always been fascinated by the “Around the World in Eighty Days”. I have enough vigor to travel non stop and all around the world. I would gladly spend my money travelling to lots of places where I rather want to go. One of the things I like about travel is the opportunity to meet new friends.

My favorite color has changed with my age but for this very moment it’s red. Being a part of the Environment of late, GREEN signifies a lot to me. It’s like I have reserved a special place for it. I have always loved the colour of the sky, so blue, so pure and so true. I’m moody so the best color to describe my personality would be rainbow; seven different hues to represent my different moods and emotions. 

I love the first monsoon rains! It’s a good feeling to see the day start with a rainy morning and end with a rainy evening especially during a day off from work. Every street looks clean and different. There is something profound about them that make me wistful. Love how everything can get so romantic. It’s such a perfect time for those long walks and long drives with someone special, of course. And it’s exciting and exhilarating to get wet in the rain (you should stop being an adult version of Little Johnny and try it for yourself).  

I love arts. I love the freedom of living alone with recurrent feeling of going back to become ten again. I love counting stars while waiting for a shooting star to pass by (so that I can make a wish and dream my dreams). I love the days when it starts to get dark very late. I like the whole process of how a day begin and end; crack of dawn, life is suddenly alive, and dusk falls. I’m ambitious, hard working and determined. I’m all for living the simple life but always looking for something new. I’m the kind of girl who likes to hit hard on happiness every now and then.

I love my job though there moments when I’m too tired that I can’t feel my legs and ‘I wanna quit’. But I love what I do and I’m happy to be working most of the time. I can forgo my private plans if I need to work on weekends. So, yes I'm a workaholic! As surprising as you might find, I like networking when I’m not working. I have accounts in most social networking sites. I like updating my profile, that way it helps me keep in touch with my friends. I like to block and then delete negative people from my list when I switch on to my tough mode.

Surprised by the JC’s candidness? This is an attempt that hopefully I don’t need a fake smile next time I meet you. You should try it yourself too. It’s a fun experience and you get an opportunity to study every contour of your individuality that you unabashed impeccable claim to possess.

Me, JC

PS. I’m greedy for good music, good books, good food, good company, love and the list goes on…

OF STARTING ANEW!

"Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience." It was by Victoria Holt which I happened to come through it in one of my newsletter (I didn’t really know who she was until I goggled few seconds ago). I had saved it in my collection hoping that I would use it in one of my columns. And here I’m starting with it. 2010 is over, I’m sure it must have been an awesome and extreme year for many of you (I can see that they have already picked their favourite moments of 2010). There must have been mix of good and bad, high and lows, success and failures, lessons and mistakes, friendships and foes, love and hatred, romance and break-ups, unions and separations, happiness and sorrow, hope and despair, peace and tensions, forgiveness and vengeance, birth and death…the list could go on. The balance has always been a part of life. It’s about time now to ring out the old year, keeping the wonderful moments and letting go all negative vibes and ring in the new year with promising thoughts and make 2011 count.

With a festive and frantic weekend lived I assume all of us are still in the holiday spirit, eh? Hope everyone had a great weekend with the Gregorian New Year’s eve followed by Nyilo celebration (One of several New Years in Bhutan particularly for the people of Punakha-Wang region). It has been not so crazy but living-by-the-moment week for me. With new year round the corner and everyone around so excited to welcome the new year, discussing their plans for a spectacular entry into new year, getting their resolutions ready for the year; the week started leaving me to worry about the end of the year. That point of time, I was feeling sad of having to bid adieu to 2010. I’m not too fond of goodbyes (I see nothing ‘good’ about saying ‘bye’).  It’s so poignant. They say that ”an optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves”. As much as I thought it was going to be awfully difficult for me, I saw the new beginning at the threshold while I was about to close the doors to the old one. Like they say at the end there is always a new beginning! No big plans though, like a true optimist I joined my friend in the countdown (just the two of us) to assure that we weren’t alone but we had each other yet in another new journey of life.

New Year has always been a grand occasion to willingly start fresh on our old habits. It’s not just about a mere number changing in our calendar but about us growing as a human being. It’s time to pause and look at ways to clean the mess we created. It’s the time of year to peel off yet another layer and be a better person each passing year. What better juncture than the New Year to embark on to discover yourself with? It’s also the time of the year when we yet again reintroduce the New Year Resolutions in our life. ‘I’ll diet’ ‘I’ll quit smoking’ I’ll stop procrastinating’ Sounds simple and easy to do. ‘I’ll be a nice husband’ ‘I’ll call my parents’ ‘I’ll stop partying’ This is impressive now.  ‘I promise….’ blah blah blah! We spend hours making a meandering list of resolutions to change for good, only to break them. Well, um… I’m gonna continue being a nice girl…lol (Live Out Loud). Seriously I know this year is going to be a beautiful year so I’m refusing to resolute to any change that I do not have a hope to keep. Now not imposing myself with a set of manacles actually isn’t hard. To those who do, I wish them my genuine Best Wishes in being confident enough to keep their promises. Please be kind to yourself and remember to take stock of the resolutions you just noted down on paper (or on your mind).

As we close the books on one year and start another, I take this opportunity to contemplate over my year. It has been a year of mixed feelings for me as well. Personally, I have come closer to my family, friends and people who are important in my life. I have been able to get in touch with few of my childhood friends (after fourteen solid years). I have made few new friends who have left their honest imprints in my life which I will treasure for keeps. The whole connection with them has been special and unforgettable. Each relationship that I share with different significant squad has emerged stronger, pure and beautiful. On my professional front, it has been a busy year for me. Initially it started off with lots of travelling and then my share of the regular job responsibilities. There were times when I had to sacrifice my weekends which I embraced very joyfully. Don’t you believe that nothing works like hard work.

I agree that we live in a critical world. I got to meet few good leaders along and many pompous colleagues. Learning has been a continuous process for me as well. The hard punches have been tough to receive but I have come in terms to roll with them. The year has contributed in giving me all the values which helped me through the harsh times. I often encountered rejections but I’m proud to divulge it as a part of my life now. I guess I have learnt to deal with the failure. There have been some really great times and some bad times which proved to teach me important lessons of life. I again guess it took me to where I wanted to be and led me become who I am. I have found my own thing that helped me rejuvenate my strength. Another year has gone by leaving me bruised, worn out, critical and a little wiser. All in all, it has been an overwhelming ride! 

And then I started writing My Frame of Mind late summer last year. It started as an idea to reconnect with my writer mode. I always wanted to write earnestly. I had stalled my capricious thoughts but I was short of confidence and determination on this front. However, it has been an amazing journey which led me to express all the random thoughts twirling in my head (and heart) despite the time and my laziness factor coming as a road block. It has been special and this year I hope I can speak more and draw you all closer into my life including my private life which hopefully I’ll be posting soon. As clichéd as it may sound but I couldn’t have asked more than this, really I couldn’t have. I look back on 2010 and the memories created with a lot of gratitude.

                              

As a kid I have known (and I still do believe) that what you do on the 1^st of January determines what you will do for the rest of the year. I spent my day without anything to worry about; I’m ready to take on the world. Are you? HAPPY NEW YEAR to you, to all my fellow bloggers and all over the world! I hope that all of you joyfully start yet another journey and make it a wonderful experience. Let’s ring in 2011 by wiping the slate clean and start anew. Well, I can feel the air of positivity and am looking forward, hope you do. Here’s to the start of the second decade of the century! Opening of new doors! New beginnings! New hopes and aspirations! New resolutions! New us! A great and Happy year! Bright and Promising! Happy Times! 2011 has to be only GOOD for everyone! So dream big.

Lolay!

Live, laugh and love, JC

PS. I woke up thinking about the following piece this morning while I caught myself chewing on it last night before I dozed off:

"Let this coming year be better than all the others. Vow to do some of the things you've always wanted to do but couldn't find the time. Call up a forgotten friend. Drop an old grudge, and replace it with some pleasant memories. Vow not to make a promise you don't think you can keep. Walk tall, and smile more. You'll look ten years younger. Don't be afraid to say, 'I love you'. Say it again. They are the sweetest words in the world."  Ann Lander

PSS. Simple and effortless things to do ain’t they? So all set, eh? Two days in, how's it going?