My Frame of Mind

COULD-HAVE-BEENS!

2011-04-11T16:36:00.000-07:00

I suddenly saw few decisions that I had made in times of yore, all flash-backed as I went to bed last Tuesday. The same day, I had met a seventeen year young chap nicked ‘Yongba’ (a rare case to find such named native in Punakha). He accompanied me throughout my four hour walk to a far-flung village called Nidupchhu. First he was hesitant to talk overtly but when I started to ask him personal questions, he was natural then. I learnt everything about his whereabouts, family, reasons he didn't returned back to the Shedra he was studying after he dropped out of his school from his seventh grade, his ambition in life then and now. And while we were conversing and walking up the steep mountain, he landed up sharing about how an American tourist once wanted to adopt and take him to his country. He was all willing to leave behind his family, his village and his country in quest of a better life abroad. But his dream remained a dream till this day. His father refused. He confessed that he still wondered how his life would have changed. He still marveled how his life could have been, had his father said yes to that American stranger. His unduly curiosity unlocked my past decisions which shaped many aspects of my life that I had all but forgotten. It reminded me of my journey to where I am today.

There are many instances in my life where things have been different because of my decision. There were times during my high school when I wanted to become an Engineer but my career direction changed when I was in my twelfth standard. Like others I was confident enough to dream big. I wanted to become a human doctor. I was so positive that I would be so perfect for the profession. I dropped math to concentrate more on biology despite my love for math. Had I taken math and studied well, you might have seen me writing all technical stuffs. I could have become an Engineer.

Back to Yongba, I could see his excitements still fresh when he remembered about that tourist. It made me wonder too about how his life could have been now. But this time with his excitement was the apparent pain of not being with his supposedly adopted father to live an American dream. Like this young gentleman, I’m still excited at the thought of ‘if only I had taken Math along with Biology in my Pre-University level’. I might have worked hard on my Physics too and had other options to choose. If not a Doctor, I might have been living my other dream (among many) of working as an astrophysicist. Well, it’s always hard to deal with the “could-have-beens” in our life.

This takes me to our constant companion of life: fear! Fear of the unwilling risk, fear of the risked outcomes, and fear of the fear affecting almost every decision we make in the end. There was this constant fear that taking both Math and Biology would mean dividing my study time for two subjects and risking low grades in both. My fear of Calculus and low grades in Math made me opt for Biology. Because of this fear, we land up having all those could-have-beens waiting in line in our life hoping that we will find what we have been chasing. We are not ready to let go every thoughts that we so apprehensively built in our mind because of the fear of what we could be missing. This very fear shapes all side of our lives, from choosing a subject to study to choosing a career, from falling in love to choosing the right soul mate and everything in-between in the journey of our life. There is always a fear accompanying us in everything that we dream about.

Do you wanna know if I ever missed on some of the best moments in my life because of it? Of course, I did miss; the undersized opportunity of working for NASA or having the title “Dr.” in front of my name…LOL..I still dread to realize the fact of losing what I never had or what I never really found. Sometimes when I look back on my life, I’m disappointed that I didn’t make an honest effort to make many things (things that mattered and I might have really wanted) happen. There are decisions that I pulled an upset for myself. Personally it cuts me with my every could-have-beens that I’ve so long added and accumulated in my list. All the chances I never took, the relationships I was afraid to have and sometimes the decisions I waited too long to make. In my chase of perfection, I was too scared of being not-good-enough. In my pursuit of happiness, I was afraid of denial. And in my search for an idyllic life, I had insecurities of life per se.

I’m still wondering how Yongba might have grown up to be. And I wonder about all the dreams I never pursued.

Now I have this slow realization of how our life’s not all haha-heehee. The paradox of life will always be there; moment of bliss taking you into heart-rending sadness. It’s like that line, “Just like a seesaw always teetering on end finding joy then sorrow then joy again”. The possibility of getting into the contradictory situation has always been there (at least for me). Many things in my life have quite turned out because of all the boundaries that I set for myself. I’ve encountered high and lows, bumped into both success and failures. I‘ve been the victim of my obvious and hidden choices. But I’m glad that I got to learn my lessons if not late: to take risk and avoid having those moments of regret for not giving it a try. Universe, as we know by now, has its own way of throwing challenges on our way as much as she pleases. The choice is finally ours to make: to embrace the challenges, seize the opportunity and take the plunge. I say overcome your fears and take it on!

You only come through stronger when you thought you couldn’t cope with more. So, until next time, step out and live your life saying ‘at least I tried’.

...Caterpillar in the tree
How you wonder who you'll be
Can't go far but you can always dream...

Could-have-been-Dr.JC!

PS. Well, now I’m certain that, had I met this American adopted Yongba now, he must have talked to me with his American accent: Howdy ma'am?

KNIGHTS IN SHINING ARMOUR - MEN!

2011-03-14T16:47:00.000-07:00

The Complete Man: Tall, Dark, handsome, intelligent, humorous, loyal, caring, understanding, charming, rich if not the archetype himself – Mr. Adonis!

I’m sure those who read my previous blog must have created this I-hate-men image out of me. Honestly, I’m not Anti-men (not always but most of the time I land up going against). Somehow, men always fail me miserably every single and second time. Well, today is an exception. Seriously, I couldn’t not write about MEN after writing on Women last week. Ladies, let’s admit that one of the main topics we discuss is men when we girls get together (How could we forget that?). And I know it wouldn’t have been fair on my part if I didn’t write after reading to Karma Choden saying that “every Bhutanese woman is as assured as she is accomplished. For this, we have ourselves and then our men to thank. I believe it takes two to sing a beautiful duet; it goes to show it takes confident men to allow confidence in women.” (DRUKPA, Sept ‘10)

I don’t think I can rightly pen down the emotions that is running right now. There are few men that have a special place in my heart, always have. It’s because of whom I have been able to swerve every little bump in my life’s highway. Okay, I’m not going into details of these special men of my life of course. But whatever I land up writing please take it as another way of saying my ‘Thank You’ to all the men in my life. Word’s can’t begin to express how special it is and how grateful I’m to have you all. And sorry I’m ignoring those, which millions of girls still wish their men to be like. But I have my favorite men on Earth to Thank for coming into my life: Landon Carter, Abhay Gulati, Stefan Salvatore, Chulbul Pandey, Hassan, our very own Gasa Lamai Singye and now my new discovery Chris Medina. These men have never disappointed me, ever. I love them all, a big time!

I’m not being THE JUDAS here my sisters (just trying to sing a beautiful duet). There are many facts which make him very special. A guy pal has an additional importance in our life. Trust me ladies, he will open you to yet another dimension and lead you to things you couldn’t possibly fathom. As romantically as it sounds, these knights in shining armour was not only protective of me but helped me with my endless problems. Simply put, he solved all my problems from careers to unavailability of vegetarian food. From watching sad movies to accompanying us for long hours of shopping. From which cool gadget to buy to set them up and to fix it. From being a protector to your backup/substitute date for high school or college reunion. From filling you in on male gossips to how the they (men) think. From love to genuine advice on each man we introduce them secretly. From enjoying to dare the toughest stunts to our single tear that melted them. I love this one now; he will lend his shoulder to cry on when a guy breaks your heart and will be the first to put his fist in the face of the same man who dared to make you cry. That’s the power of the knight in shining armour. I’m sure those who already have one will consent with me. I discovered him from my ninth grade and now have extended to more than one.

He’s like any normal guy doing all those douche-bag man things but there’s this ‘you-can-rely-on-me’ or ‘I-won’t-let-you-down’ attribute which makes him different and special. He’s the guide to Mars who will enrich your life in more ways like your gang of girls. He’ll give you a man’s perspective on everything. A true help, come shine come rain through the potholes of life. He would be readily available; you are just a phone call away kinda – as simple as that! And yes they listen to a woman; it’s just that initially you need to nudge from time to time, the rest is a smooth journey. I’ve been told by one of my guy pal that just because he doesn’t love you the way you wanted him to doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you (they just run out of ways to express). So I guess we need to understand them as well. I have to say, these types of guy pals are irreplaceable. I should not but I’m outta his attributes. May be you ladies get yourself lucky to find that ideal guy pal and have him in your collection of friends. Needless to say, I know I’m lucky to have them!

Guy-Pal JC!

PS. My dearest Men, if women don’t come to you still, please know that they don’t know a friend like you.

My knights in shining armour!

(Sorry Sherab, Singay and Tandin. I'll have to meet you guys and save the moment next time!)

PHENOMENAL WOMAN!

2011-03-07T20:46:00.000-08:00

(An extension on Women Series)

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms,
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them,
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing,
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
The palm of my hand,
The need for my care.
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

—Maya Angelou

THE OTHER HALF OF THE SKY - WOMEN!

2011-03-07T16:28:00.000-08:00

Disclaimer: It stands to be my opinion. I'm responsible for what I wrote and not for how you understood/interpreted my words. Plus it's not the final word on men.

By now you probably know that I’m a single working woman on the discovery road of what I’m worth in this lifetime with my focus on being independent and determined of my purpose in life. I’m proud to be born as a woman; Yes, I never wished being born a man. I have lived my life the way I always wanted to. Through thick and thin I have enjoyed way too much being a woman. And among a million other reasons I’m lucky and blessed that I’m born in Bhutan. We don’t have many issues on women like we get to see or at least hear about women (and girls) being assaulted, raped, tortured, murdered or sold off all around the world. In Bhutan we have in reality enjoyed what we call a “matrilineal” system of inheritance in gender terms. (Matrilineality is a system in which lineage is traced through the mother and maternal ancestors. Matrilineality also is a societal system in which one belongs to one's matriline or mother's lineage, which can involve the inheritance of property and/or titles. Courtesy: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Matrilineality)

Well, at the outset please allow me for lavishly plagiarizing few or probably frequent lines from the September 2010 issue of DRUKPA. I could not but happily agree when I read Mr. Jurmi Chhowing (from the editorial desk) say that “…they make the world go around” (They as in the Women). The word woman is so weighed; I second Lennon on what he probably said few decades ago that ‘Woman, I can hardly express…’. No, I’m not delivering on the nine months and post processes. I’m writing this piece with one particular guy mate of mine on mind who more than two years ago stated that ‘Women are difficult to understand’. The discussion was way too long due between us. I’m still perplexed with this attitude. So, today I’m going to write few things which men are supposed to know about we WOMEN! This is for him! I hope he’s reading this piece too. And this is for those in quest to better understand women. You need to move beyond the ‘women are complex’ mentality.

I don’t know since when but I owned the book ‘Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus’ by John Gray. Yes, it’s about how you can improve the relationship of heterosexual couples. I had heard so much about it so I bought it thinking that maybe it would be worth buying. I thought that at some point of time in my romantic phase of life, I would need it. But I never had to use this model to improve my relationship. There wasn’t a need, not at all. I was one of the happy Venusian in the universe. Washington Irving once wrote that ‘a woman's whole life is a history of the affections ’. I’m not actually confident what he really meant but I’m taking it in a positive front. Indeed we women are full of affection; history, present or future, we will always be known for the colossal affection we carry in various characters. Let me borrow the line “through daughterhood, sisterhood, motherhood and unto the penultimate shape and form of the matriarchal grandmother, the woman does it all”. That explains it all. But it’s quite surprising that men has discovered it and yet has refused to acknowledge the fact. Of course there’s no clash of the Titans, oops I mean clash of Mars and Venus. Neither battle nor wars!

Well guys, it’s hard for us to understand what you mean when you say whatever you say. We don’t want you to beat around the bush. Who wants to be with the guy who doesn't have the guts to tell the truth? Why do you try to have options when you can just have one? We detest when you men try to show off your multitasking prowess (sometimes by killing two birds with one stone, supposed to be a metaphor). It is just condescending and downright heartbreaking. When I meet people like that it reminds me why I am single (Most of the times I wish I could see the future just to see if one particular guy is even worth it). It reminds me of a penny; two faced, hollow and worthless. When I say worthless, does it hurt the colossal ego that you men carry? Tsk Tsk, but you cannot deny the fact either, right? If ever I find a guy that proves me wrong, I swear I’ll forget that I even wrote this piece. But then I know I’ll simply land up rolling my eyes as I say “men are men and men will be men still”. No denial!!! You can’t be in love with two people one time, even if you do how sure can you be that either the first or the second one will turn out to be the right one? (I read somewhere about a male-specific disease, could it be the dreaded ‘Male Jump to Conclusion Syndrome’ afflicted to the Martians?) Why cheat on someone? If you weren’t sure or happy, speak out and just leave. Respect woman and the respect this thing called commitment. Smarten up!

Personally I have issues that you men have all the time in the world to make other people fall in love with you but you don’t have time to pay attentions to the one who already does. How are we supposed to take that? How do we understand this logic? During the initial days you pretend to love her so much but as time passes by you change. It always makes me wonder why men work so hard to get your attention and once they have it they ignore you. Why do you get bored? Women are not something that you can choose like some flavor of the week and when you are fed up with the taste you dump them right at their face. Where is the idea of wanting to spend the whole life with just one person and not getting tired of them? They say that real men never stop trying to show a girl how much she means to him, even after he got her. If you promise a woman then please keep the promise if not why do you make it in the first place? Remember that a woman needs someone who will never get tired of loving her and proving it time and again.

Okay, you accuse us of being complex. I agree that the female thought process is very complex. I guess we evolved with time. Now that you know the fact that our thinking process is not simple like you claim to possess, why on universe are you taking such a long time to digest and deal with it accordingly? It doesn’t constitute as a gesture of understanding from your part. If you want us to do something, tell us too. I’m sure you will get a direct answer. With women, you can be who you really are – you don’t need to pretend. If you give them a chance (i.e. if only you want to hear it) she can be brutally honest because she cares about you to tell the truth. She loves you the way you are. Of course there’s this part where she hates her smoking and drinking boyfriend. She tries hard enough to make him quit and it pisses you men. Well, it’s not a burden of unnecessary stress of change. She’s just trying to care about you enough which indirectly helps extend your life so that you can live at least for a day longer together, don’t you Martians get that? If she argues with you, it’s because she cares about you. Listen to her and understand her. The reason is that woman likes to receive those showers of cares for them on a regular basis and would like to do the same for her man. She needs someone who can commit and be responsible.

I have seen (and I have experienced) what it takes to live our lives as a Venusian. With every problem, every adversity, every stress that they went through, they succeeded in bringing that smile through it all (on your face). Every time she was shattered, she has picked up the pieces of her life and remained steadfast as a survivor. Their shoulders have carried the heaviest loads with nil complaints - from your anxiety to bouquets and chocolates. Distance and geographies have never hampered her love for you men. And sometimes your one simple glance has worked its tricks. I tell you men look around and get inspired from these women.

Now I would like to share what’s in a woman’s mind and heart. But you have to promise to inscribe in your little brain and heart. She loves receiving little notes (can’t you guys spare five minutes to write one, even if it’s a weird poem?). She loves receiving sweet dreams message at night (it’s just Nu. 0.45. How stingy could you get?) She expects you to remember the dates (modern technology has given you many ways to remind, can’t you use them?). She expects you to call her at midnight on her birthday and after you wake up and before you sleep (is it too hard for you to whisper Happy Birthday and tell her you love her and make her feel like the most important person in your universe? Common, it comes once a year!) She doesn’t want you to hold her hand bags but she would definitely want you to be a gentleman (Is it too wearisome for you to hold the door for her?) She must be a fan of Enrique or Nelly but she likes to hear her man singing in his hoarse voice (can’t you sing if it makes her to giggle listening to them?) Say things first. Don’t expect her to confess her love to you before you do.

I wish I could avoid the cliché but I have to say it - the best way to a woman’s heart is the truth. You need to compliment her honestly my Martians that way you don’t even have to lie. Be honest and you gain her love, trust and respect. A true relationship starts when you tell each other anything and everything. The much talked about the television soaps win over the football matches – have you ever thought for once ‘I’m giving up this time for you’ rather than ‘why should men give up so many things’? Have you ever asked her out for a long walk after dinner? She would most happily leave her series to spend some quality time alone with you. Men, please delete the mentality of ‘committing to just one woman is a big enough gesture in itself’ from your hard memory disk. That’s seriously not enough. At the end of the day all she wants from you is your love with all your heart (and all we ask is the reassurance from you. Is it too much to ask?).

Guys, are you goaded that women always wear the jealous look whenever you talk with your girl pals or any Venusians? Well, if you weren’t jealous every once in a while, the whole idea is that you wouldn’t be in love either. And please don’t act different in front of your friends and when it’s just you and her. Involve her friends (By now you should know that for women, our BFFs mean so much so we want to share everything with them). I tell you, accept us just the way we are like the way you guys want us to accept the way you are. It’s a win-win situation for all! You don’t get into a relationship to change the other person but you both grow into each other changing you both for the better.

Well some of the things girls expect and what you need to do: when she ignores you, she definitely wants your attention. When she has that doubt, she wants you to defend yourself (she doesn’t want to lose you). A girl is full of hints (try to read them and help her out). When she tells you a secret, she trusts you that you will keep it untold. When she says that she loves you, she really does (I wish I could say how much!). When she walks away from you, she wants you to follow her. Women like a man who will follow them to the end- of the Earth if that’s what it takes. When she starts crying, don’t say anything, just hold her tight as long as possible (she will feel protected). She needs someone who isn’t afraid to let her go when she isn’t ready yet. She needs someone who will fight for his love and never give up no matter what the consequences are. A girl is happiest when she knows that you make her your everything. Don’t force her to do anything!

There are some of us you probably think is tough and strong (you could include me in the list). But that’s just what she wants others to believe. Underneath she’s like everyone else – dreaming about the kind of man who would risk everything for them, even knowing they might get hurt. It is easy to please a woman but hardest to hurt her – simply because what kind of prodigious human with patience and unconditional love get hurt easily. Try us – you hurt her, break & tear her heart apart and in return she will love you back, care about you and will stand right beside you. Yes she will bear all the barbs you men impeccably target her way. The problem with woman is they love someone too much (and the problem with men is they let go too easily). But it’s a pity that you still don’t appreciate her. “Women have the unenviable privilege of loving longest, when existence or when hope is gone” (Persuasion, Austen) Lastly but certainly not the least, please NEVER LIE to her (not that you could hide those things from her either). Because then she will think everything you ever said to her was a lie, from start till present.

I recently discovered a guy named ‘Chris Medina’ (American Idol 10 contestant). He touched the hearts of more that 30 million people (including me) with his heartbreaking story. His fiancé survived a car accident prior to their marriage date and suffered from a traumatic brain injury. He has dedicated his life in taking the role of her sole caretaker. Their undated-marriage in future is what keeps him motivated. The world indeed needs more men like him. I wish the world had more men like Chris. Sometimes I feel instead of advocating on the conservation of 200 White Bellied Herons in the world, we need to spread more awareness on these kinds of men left (because such men are uncommon and near to extinction now).

No woman no cry! I refuse to believe Bonny M and everyone else who sings this song. Remove that thick blinders from your eyes Martians and see that we aren’t the cause of the howl. Instead we have the answers. However, in any case you cry sometimes woman can lend her shoulder to man. I couldn’t but agree to a man when he said that “one cannot fathom how insipid the world would be without Women”. Women were created from the ribs of Adam because it's under his arm to be protected and near his heart to be loved. And of course we have James Brown singing “…this is a man's world; this is a man's world. But it wouldn't be nothing, nothing without a woman or a girl...” In life, in any case if you land up with two options to run away or stand your ground (due to a woman in your life), I say please stand your ground. I promise you won’t be extinct. You will be one of the critically endangered species on Earth and this woman will conserve and take actions that your habitat isn’t destroyed.

This is to celebration of being a woman, a source of strength and wisdom (together with all her foibles)! This one is to those who need to understand us! Happy Women’s Day my ladies out there! May the Force be with you all! And gentlemen, celebrate your best reason to live & die for-WOMEN!

Let the understanding begin!

Girly JC!

PS. Women are supposed to be very calm generally: but women feel just as men feel; they need exercise for their faculties, and a field for their efforts as much as their brothers do; they suffer from too rigid a restraint, too absolute a stagnation, precisely as men would suffer; and it is narrow-minded in their more privileged fellow-creatures to say that they ought to confine themselves to making puddings and knitting stockings, to playing on the piano and embroidering bags. It is thoughtless to condemn them, or laugh at them, if they seek to do more or learn more than custom has pronounced necessary for their sex. – Charlotte Bronte (Jane Eyre Ch. 12)

A man is also a woman; he wants to find someone, to give meaning to his life. Does that make a man difficult to understand?

PPS. Men, I'm forever keeping my angel close, are you?

LOVE ACTUALLY!

2011-02-14T16:07:00.000-08:00

Girl, I still remember the first time I saw you

In your eyes I saw lights shining bright

Now, once I knew, I was gonna love you

Liked no one loved you

Like I never loved anyone before

Baby, baby, can’t you see

This is a love for you and me

I say, baby, baby, I wanna have only you

Ring a bell? It’s the beginning stanza of one of my all time favorite Bollywood songs. I have been habitually asking them, my friends - old and new about their love stories all this while. Today, the 14th Feb, 2011, as I sit and recollect everyone else’s love story, I reflect to “where did my story, my love story wane & stopped?” Well, a (((BIG HUG))) to start with, to all of you on this blog…the Beatles were right..."Love is all you need"...Happy reading guys!

Paul: He was my senior in college. Somehow I knew little bit about him all this while. He was a nice boy then, very gentle and kind-hearted, the kind most people dream about. He even had a good voice and danced well. Candid on the net: I still have one of his photograph where he is carefully playing guitar, it was given to me by a close friend of mine. It was a silent one-sided love. He was going around with another girl at the same time. Sure enough to break your heart but I was not completely unhappy. It was a love that I thought to risk not being loved in return. And to expose my feelings was to risk showing my true self. No one is happy all the time even if you are madly in love and have each other by your side, And not many relationships of course last for long that too when you look back on the whole things you end up looking silly. I was happy, happy most of the time. I still wonder whether any good thing had come from that love. Certainly, those small gestures made my life so enjoyable. It must be a difficult thing anyone could experience and get back the hurt when remembered but for me it was a sweet goodbye, a love to cherish in every way.

Passive: We met in college. He seemed so…I dunno…Perfect, I guess. He had grown up in Thimphu. Came from a good family, was intelligent. To me he was really handsome, handsome enough to make any girl ignore her best instincts. Back then, one of my friends had warned me “you might fall in love with P”, I guess I did fell in love again. It was such a foolish of me to be thinking of someone who had a girlfriend, yet again. He was a nice guy especially considering the fact that he was nice to me. There were myriad of things that went unsaid between us. There are still those unspoken thoughts. I wish I get that one chance, I could give him the letters I wrote to him in my crude book titled “Things I Want to Say to You!” For the first time I fully understood that: Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they will love you back! Don’t expect love in return, just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn’t, be content it grew in yours.

Mr. HRN: I have no idea when my heart created that space for this one, I really don’t know. It was like this song: It started out as a feeling which then grew into a hope. Was it love, or just something that reminded me of something that felt a lot like, but wasn't, love. Just friends, friends then, until the end you know I still pretend, just friends. Our conversation weren’t exactly long but I admit I enjoyed them nonetheless. More than seeing him in real, I saw him more in my dreams. It was always “I must have been dreaming” moments with him. Wishing that he would leave me with some kind of proof that it’s not a dream in the morning when I woke up. This one too had a girlfriend when I knew that he existed. I read somewhere that “a sad thing in life is when you meet someone who means a lot to you, only to find out in the end that it was never meant to be and you just have to let go”. Yes, I let him go as well.

Well, that wasn’t a wonderful love story, love stories right? I’m friends with all three of them now. It hurt when I lost each of the various Martians I fell in love with. Today, every time I look up at the sky at night, I count three stars and smile hoping that they too are smiling back at me. I guess I’m totally convinced that no one loses anyone, because no one owns anyone. I have come to understand that ‘Universe has its law to break heart’. And it’s true that “Being in love with each other doesn't necessarily mean that you have to be a couple; sometimes you just have to be friends”.

Future scope: I would like to believe that I’m in love with someone I don’t know and who didn’t figure in my plans at all. I have left myself to be swept away by the first person to treat me a little differently. It’s just as well I don’t have his phone number that I don’t know where he lives. I guess that way I can love him without having to blame myself for another missed opportunity. In other words I’m letting him find me, in real and not just in our dreams.

Baby, ever since you walked into my life

My meaning of life has changed

I rearranged my entire way of looking at things

And all that I say is because of you

Because of my love for you

Baby, you have helped me find who I’m

‘Cos I can see who you are

You are a shining star

For me in our my private galaxy

Baby I love you

What’s life without love? Do you know yet that 2011 is a year of falling in love? Here’s to everyone falling in love: Spread love!!! Happy Valentines Day!!!

Lovey JC!

PS. Let me quote a line from one of my favourite movies Love Actually, “The thing about romance is....people only get together right at the very end”. I’m all prepared for a Prince Charming to appear and carry me off for good. Are you prepared? So hang in there! Much Love!

THE WAY I ARE! (PART II)

2011-01-17T16:54:00.000-08:00

I'm kinda stoked that you read the whole of Part I (you probably could have done other stuff in those 5-7 minutes). I know that was ridiculously long. Well I commend you and anyone else for that and thank you for spending your time on me. I hope I could get a little closer to you. So give me your permission to continue further.

Food wise, I’m not fussy about it. I’m not a junk food fan but I can’t resist to homemade food. The happiest meal for me is suja, rice and red chilli ema datshi. I hated cooking till my undergrad. During my student life I skipped home economics. So I’m very insecure about my culinary prowess. I never had to cook while I lived with my parents. I just needed to order food. But now that I need to cook, I have learnt few recipes here and there. Having said that, I can make a mean datshi of every vegetable. I can make my version of pasta and spaghetti. I will serve you when I next meet you if it falls on a Saturday (I have my own superstitious reasons). Yes, I’m a superstitious person. I have a superstition of seeing a bottle of milk to bring good luck.

I’m too emotional! This is the hardest part for me now. I’m romantic at heart (I seldom show this to the Martian). I have always hidden this until now but I’m doing it just for you. I love LOVE and I’m a secret sucker for romance too. It could be in the form of romantic movies, romantic songs, romantic books, relationships, gifts, Valentine’s Day, an evening walk, et cetera. I agree that ‘Love is the greatest emotion in the world’’. Every big and little thing in our life has love in it. In truth, like any other girl I’m waiting for the day my dream man will appear in front of me. Yes, I would like to be swept off my feet and then run far away to the Neverland. It’s the fault of those romantic movies and books which had an irrevocable influence on me. But there is this little intuition that says me that ideal romance do exists. You could say I’m an idealist at heart, waiting for the ultimate one. Meanwhile I would pick Imran Khan to go on a fantasy date in case I don’t get dates with Won Bin.

Well, there’s a long checklist of requirements for what it takes to be my perfect man. I will share FEW of them here. I’m a curious cat, so should be Intelligent to answer my infinite questions. I want to be bored yet entertained incessantly by the one I’m with, so should be witty, charming with a healthy sense of humour. Should be trustworthy (I could say almost anything). I hate Liars, so no pretensions. Should be kind to me, you and all. All this while I have been lifting those heavy boxes, for a change I would like to have someone who can carry it for me. I want someone to help me control all the situations in my life, of course in a positive way. Should have some sort of connection, I don’t know what sort of but something that will keep me drawing towards him. May be some kind of feeling that people write about in novels. Patient enough to catch all the frequent tantrums that I must have to throw. Send me a text when he feels I sounded a bit low. I’m not talking about the looks but if he’s good looking that wouldn’t hurt at all (tongue out). In return (I want to borrow Pearl Jam’s line) I would happily be the verb 'to trust' and never let you down. Wow! I said it all. This spares me from my matrimonial fee. But I feel sad that it’s difficult for me to find one. By the way, he can bypass the stuffed toys (there are only limited toys that I truly find cute and I can gift that myself). Is it something like ‘out of reach’? I know you see me like some wide eyed dreamer, but I’m not the only one here (you know that right?). I have also seen aplenty cases wherein ‘when love happens, the list doesn’t matter so much’. So those Martians who were about to give up impressing me can finally relax.

I’m a music fiend. I have a long-standing relationship with music. It is my escape into my utopia! Each word in the lyrics is so real. There is so much to relate and dedicate. I can listen to from start to finish and on repeat mode, the whole day and the next day and everyday. It plays an important role in my life. If you see me in a bad mood, sing me a song. That will make me cry first and then I’ll be back to normal (Well done, you just made my day!) It’s a crutch for me to lean on at all time. There is this wonderful association of listening to one particular song that makes you want to sing along especially ‘cause you have some memorable moments with each one (I have lots since I like burning CDs for my friends). I enjoy listening to a wide variety of music. I like the banjo. There is something about it that connects to me. I like the sound of acoustic guitar, violin and piano. I like listening to local music too. The only thing I hate about music is the loud and late night singing of a person that offends my eardrum while I’m in my dream world.

Singing is JC’s covert passion. I have a dream to sing (just in case one of the many bands out in the town is in dire need to recruit a new member). I can’t really do that so I attempt to sing while I do some karaoke, but it’s been a couple of years now. It’s so much fun just standing in front of the mike, taking a while to actually dedicate the song and then pouring out your emotions while the beat goes on and on. I love singing especially duets. I can spend hours and hours practicing alone. I have a raw video with me singing with one of my Thai friend that I met on a study tour in Bangkok. If my mood allows me I could share the video with you some day. I love car singing too especially along with Clarkson, Gaga and Perry. I used to own a guitar before but I never got a teacher who could teach me. Sadly, I never made the best use of it. I wish I could make music. At the moment I’m learning a Korean song so that I can make an impression on Won Bin on our first date (blush blush). I tell you it’s not as easy as we tend to feel while listening. I’m mortified to say but I’m just two lines through past two months. Fighting!

All my life I have hated the smell of perfume. But about a year ago, I bought some bottles of perfume and since then I have loved spraying perfumes. I was sort of left out in that department but I’m making up for lost time now. I love giving gifts and also getting them. It could be as simple as a nail clipper when I misplace mine or Vaseline for my cracked heel. I'm still beyond obsessed with the book ‘A Walk to Remember’. It still gives me the goose flesh even today! Whenever I want my dose of romance, I grab the book and I’m captivated by it. It’s everything I maybe wanted for myself when I was in college. I still can’t let it go.

I hate sharing. I rather sacrifice it for the other one in need than just carve up. I like helping others as much as I can if it has a positive effect on them. It takes two to share. I have also learnt that it’s not bad to be selfish. Because there are some things in life that are not meant to be shared, if you know what I mean. Sometimes I make sure I get my full share too.

So prolly now is the moment to come clean with you about my flaws. I’m pretty clumsy. I’m a geek per se. I’m moody. I can be harsh and rude to anyone. I have been given the name ‘tough’ by few of my friends. I hate cleaning floors. I’m nowhere near the concept of girl-next-door. I can make up excuses for almost everything if that saves me from scolding. Oh! Am I into my I-hate list? There is plethora of stuffs that I dislike. I hate peeling oranges. I have an aversion towards people who do matchmaking. I still wonder what Austen’s fascination was with matchmaking in Emma. I have many issues about phone. I hate when I want a call or a message and don’t get one. I hate people talking over phone when I’m right in front of them sitting alone, makes me feel like some idiot waiting for a free meal. I hate the feeling when people don’t message back right after I text them. I hate when the whole world rings me when either my battery is low or I’m busy.

I hate all those double meaning jokes. I cannot digest lies and I hate liars to my bones. I hate those extended meetings and boring speeches. It’s so sleepy and annoying. I hate mosquitoes. I hate my bad hair days. I hate when I see my nails filled with dirt. As determined as I’m, I can be adamant. I have to win an argument even if I have to contradict myself sometimes. I can be a drama queen too. Most important I don’t do favours for free. Okay, I was kidding about the later. I was checking on you if you skipped few lines ‘cause I already said that I like lending a helping hand. Regardless of these downbeat semblances, I’m living my days the way I like with so many lessons to learn. Life has been amazing and I maybe, have started liking being imperfect. ‘Cause that’s the way, JC’s way!

Phew!!! So this is it. These were some of the things that only few of my closest friends already know. Some of the things were for you, for those who wanted to be friends with me and in some ways I couldn’t be one (I would like to believe that way). There were also few things that nobody ever knew about. I hope I got to say it exactly about who I really am in real life. Now I’m wondering what you are wondering about what I’m and I’m not? Lastly but certainly not the least, I may not be perfect, however, I will never change (but I will never stay the same either). It’s a Leo thing again, I suppose.

I read a wonderful quote once "everyone tells me that I've changed, but the truth is that I've just stopped living my life their way". I’m sure it’s true for most of you; it definitely speaks for me! Ain’t people right when they say that we should never apologize for the way we are? So be yourself, always! Happy rediscovering yourself!

Me Still, JC

PS. Can you handle me the way I'm are?

THE WAY I ARE! (PART I)

2011-01-10T15:47:00.000-08:00

"I have no special talents. I’m only passionately curious." - Albert Einstein.

"I have no special talents. I’m only passionately curious." - JC.

For the last few months, I've been writing on this blog. Somehow I felt comfortable writing about things that happen in my life. I’M (WO)MAN OF MY WORDS. So keeping my last promise, today as I slough off the skin, I take you a little closer to who I am and to my real world. Generally I’m always excited by anything but I’m very nervous about this one. It could be because I’m not vocal about my feelings. I’m very secretive. I always keep my personal feelings on a sly. It’s is a new thing that I’m writing few things about it in my blog. Otherwise, I won’t ever give a hint of what I fancy about. Those who don’t know me well enough always land up muttering that I don’t say the right thing at the right time. So I thought maybe I could write it all down so that next time someone says that, I will say “Hey, you gotta read this one!” And now, I’m excited for you to know about me and my stealthy confessions.

Well…Hi, I’m Jigme. I’ve been alive for 27 years now. I’m a normal one with my own share of choices, concerns, insecurities and everything hereafter (Welcome to my random musings). I’m a woman who can very well define my namesake - FEARLESS. I have been a loner. I totally love being on my own most of the time which has made me country strong & Independent. If there’s no Ophiuchus as the 13th Zodiac sign and my Zodiac sign has not changed, I’m a Leon! I once read a tweet saying when a Leo female walks into a room, it's almost as if a Queen just made an appearance. That’s for you to judge. We are infamously known to be arrogant, domineering, selfish, sensitive, snide, flashy and egoist. I do have a slight touch of these traits in me too. On the brighter side I’m very organized. I like to have my to-do list (helps me against my absentmindedness). I’m very particular about anything and everything. It means doing the right thing is very important to me.

I might not look one, but I’m easy-going and fun-loving person. I’m not very sociable but I love to hang out with my important people (especially my gang of girls). I normally prefer slumber party over others; cook, eat, drink, and laugh, make jokes and sleep over. I cannot work for 24 hours straight. I need to enter the amazing world of dreams while I take my beauty sleep (at least seven hours). I hate those nights when I have to skip but I can sacrifice few nights out of 365. I love taking naps (during weekends ‘cause that’s the only time I get to take) especially with my favorite playlist on. Something about it just feels right. I neither have the capacity nor an ardor to party. I would rather go out for a Karaoke with my friends. I love going out for morning breakfast and just hang out with them (I haven’t done that for quite sometime now). Family and friends are important; it’s just that I don’t need to spend hours engaging with them. Social validation isn’t my goal.

There are moments when I prefer chilling by myself (I need my space, a LOT). I love going on solo-drive, stop at some nice place and sit with a good book. I like almost everything about books; buying books, gifting books, receiving one as a gift, covering the book, turning the pages and arranging it on the shelf. I love reading. I mostly read books recommended by my ardent reader friends. Otherwise, I love reading books by Indian authors. I can so relate to the characters. It is so easy to actually associate with most of the things mentioned in the book. I love all genres of books mostly on philosophy, biographies, autobiographies, history, self-help, etc. You will also find romantic novels in the read list in my weRead bookshelf. These books have a breathtaking story that I guess never happen in reality. There is this loveliness in it which harks back at me of what I don’t have and what I want in real. It’s one of those means by which I can enter into a happily-ever-after world. And there’s so much great knowledge in books. At the moment I’m reading “The Law of Nature”.

I have my own collection of collecting stuffs. I have been doing philately since my school days. I have a small collection of coins and currencies. I like collecting hair clips. I like to treasure earrings, headbands, bangles, necklaces especially beads. I like to collect pencils and pens, even greeting cards. I like collecting souvenirs from the places I visit. I like collecting mobile straps. Recently I started hoarding refrigerator magnets (I’m on a mission to surprise my new housemate). By and large, I like to gather anything that falls into the category of ‘cute’.

I’m very old-fashioned, I still write letters and notes by hand. I love letters, be it writing letters or reading letters. Actually I love reading more than writing. I simply love reading all those so-called-love-letters. Makes me a romantic and senti person. I still love writing (quoting) sweet nothings from my favourite songs. And yes, you must have noticed I use way too many exclamation marks in my everyday typing, in texts, in my tweets, in my status! Oh I just used “!”. It makes me feel good, that’s it. I feel it expresses the emotion very well.

Like every other women I love shoes, flip flops in particular. I hate clothes shopping though. I don’t have patience to spend hours looking for something that’s not readily available. But I should admit I like spending my time in a handicraft and antique shops. It gives me an opportunity to admire and wonder about each piece displayed. Next time I find an antique shop, I’m gonna buy myself a compass. I desperately need with my horrible sense of direction to reach a place (and also in my life). I like fleece probably because I’m always freezing cold during winter.

I like watching movies. Friday is my movie night. If I’m not busy I make sure I watch at least two DVDs. It’s one of many things that help me revive my strength after a weeklong work. I’m a huge fan of romantic comedy and war movies. I love the whole idea of movie marathon with my favorite movies. I like Japanese anime movies, Korean drama series with American series. I’m not a TV person but I love channel surfing when I’m alone and have nothing else to do.

I have always loved British accent in my life though I haven’t really tried speaking myself. I do wish, pray and hope that I get to stay and pick up the accent. I’m telling you this ‘cause I don’t want to surprise you then. Otherwise I’m in love with the way how Leonardo DiCaprio says “huh!” in his movies. I’m his die-hard fan, both for his movies and his environmental activities (more on this in my upcoming blogs).

I love almost everything about BHUTAN. It’s my foremost interest. I love trekking through our jungle and mountains. I have developed this small interest in photography and backpacking. I love prayer flags posted all over. It’s so serene to see them standing tall on a top of a mountain. I like trying local vegetarian foods. I don’t have a sweet tooth. I like local dialects. I like languages and linguistics. I love the local dress our tribes and highlanders wear. I would like to wear them especially if it’s comfortable. I love travelling, a LOT! I love exploring new places, in-country or ex-country. I have always been fascinated by the “Around the World in Eighty Days”. I have enough vigor to travel non stop and all around the world. I would gladly spend my money travelling to lots of places where I rather want to go. One of the things I like about travel is the opportunity to meet new friends.

My favorite color has changed with my age but for this very moment it’s red. Being a part of the Environment of late, GREEN signifies a lot to me. It’s like I have reserved a special place for it. I have always loved the colour of the sky, so blue, so pure and so true. I’m moody so the best color to describe my personality would be rainbow; seven different hues to represent my different moods and emotions.

I love the first monsoon rains! It’s a good feeling to see the day start with a rainy morning and end with a rainy evening especially during a day off from work. Every street looks clean and different. There is something profound about them that make me wistful. Love how everything can get so romantic. It’s such a perfect time for those long walks and long drives with someone special, of course. And it’s exciting and exhilarating to get wet in the rain (you should stop being an adult version of Little Johnny and try it for yourself).

I love arts. I love the freedom of living alone with recurrent feeling of going back to become ten again. I love counting stars while waiting for a shooting star to pass by (so that I can make a wish and dream my dreams). I love the days when it starts to get dark very late. I like the whole process of how a day begin and end; crack of dawn, life is suddenly alive, and dusk falls. I’m ambitious, hard working and determined. I’m all for living the simple life but always looking for something new. I’m the kind of girl who likes to hit hard on happiness every now and then.

I love my job though there moments when I’m too tired that I can’t feel my legs and ‘I wanna quit’. But I love what I do and I’m happy to be working most of the time. I can forgo my private plans if I need to work on weekends. So, yes I'm a workaholic! As surprising as you might find, I like networking when I’m not working. I have accounts in most social networking sites. I like updating my profile, that way it helps me keep in touch with my friends. I like to block and then delete negative people from my list when I switch on to my tough mode.

Surprised by the JC’s candidness? This is an attempt that hopefully I don’t need a fake smile next time I meet you. You should try it yourself too. It’s a fun experience and you get an opportunity to study every contour of your individuality that you unabashed impeccable claim to possess.

Me, JC

PS. I’m greedy for good music, good books, good food, good company, love and the list goes on…

OF STARTING ANEW!

2011-01-03T16:03:00.000-08:00

"Never regret. If it's good, it's wonderful. If it's bad, it's experience." It was by Victoria Holt which I happened to come through it in one of my newsletter (I didn’t really know who she was until I goggled few seconds ago). I had saved it in my collection hoping that I would use it in one of my columns. And here I’m starting with it. 2010 is over, I’m sure it must have been an awesome and extreme year for many of you (I can see that they have already picked their favourite moments of 2010). There must have been mix of good and bad, high and lows, success and failures, lessons and mistakes, friendships and foes, love and hatred, romance and break-ups, unions and separations, happiness and sorrow, hope and despair, peace and tensions, forgiveness and vengeance, birth and death…the list could go on. The balance has always been a part of life. It’s about time now to ring out the old year, keeping the wonderful moments and letting go all negative vibes and ring in the new year with promising thoughts and make 2011 count.

With a festive and frantic weekend lived I assume all of us are still in the holiday spirit, eh? Hope everyone had a great weekend with the Gregorian New Year’s eve followed by Nyilo celebration (One of several New Years in Bhutan particularly for the people of Punakha-Wang region). It has been not so crazy but living-by-the-moment week for me. With new year round the corner and everyone around so excited to welcome the new year, discussing their plans for a spectacular entry into new year, getting their resolutions ready for the year; the week started leaving me to worry about the end of the year. That point of time, I was feeling sad of having to bid adieu to 2010. I’m not too fond of goodbyes (I see nothing ‘good’ about saying ‘bye’). It’s so poignant. They say that ”an optimist stays up until midnight to see the new year in. A pessimist stays up to make sure the old year leaves”. As much as I thought it was going to be awfully difficult for me, I saw the new beginning at the threshold while I was about to close the doors to the old one. Like they say at the end there is always a new beginning! No big plans though, like a true optimist I joined my friend in the countdown (just the two of us) to assure that we weren’t alone but we had each other yet in another new journey of life.

New Year has always been a grand occasion to willingly start fresh on our old habits. It’s not just about a mere number changing in our calendar but about us growing as a human being. It’s time to pause and look at ways to clean the mess we created. It’s the time of year to peel off yet another layer and be a better person each passing year. What better juncture than the New Year to embark on to discover yourself with? It’s also the time of the year when we yet again reintroduce the New Year Resolutions in our life. ‘I’ll diet’ ‘I’ll quit smoking’ I’ll stop procrastinating’ Sounds simple and easy to do. ‘I’ll be a nice husband’ ‘I’ll call my parents’ ‘I’ll stop partying’ This is impressive now. ‘I promise….’ blah blah blah! We spend hours making a meandering list of resolutions to change for good, only to break them. Well, um… I’m gonna continue being a nice girl…lol (Live Out Loud). Seriously I know this year is going to be a beautiful year so I’m refusing to resolute to any change that I do not have a hope to keep. Now not imposing myself with a set of manacles actually isn’t hard. To those who do, I wish them my genuine Best Wishes in being confident enough to keep their promises. Please be kind to yourself and remember to take stock of the resolutions you just noted down on paper (or on your mind).

As we close the books on one year and start another, I take this opportunity to contemplate over my year. It has been a year of mixed feelings for me as well. Personally, I have come closer to my family, friends and people who are important in my life. I have been able to get in touch with few of my childhood friends (after fourteen solid years). I have made few new friends who have left their honest imprints in my life which I will treasure for keeps. The whole connection with them has been special and unforgettable. Each relationship that I share with different significant squad has emerged stronger, pure and beautiful. On my professional front, it has been a busy year for me. Initially it started off with lots of travelling and then my share of the regular job responsibilities. There were times when I had to sacrifice my weekends which I embraced very joyfully. Don’t you believe that nothing works like hard work.

I agree that we live in a critical world. I got to meet few good leaders along and many pompous colleagues. Learning has been a continuous process for me as well. The hard punches have been tough to receive but I have come in terms to roll with them. The year has contributed in giving me all the values which helped me through the harsh times. I often encountered rejections but I’m proud to divulge it as a part of my life now. I guess I have learnt to deal with the failure. There have been some really great times and some bad times which proved to teach me important lessons of life. I again guess it took me to where I wanted to be and led me become who I am. I have found my own thing that helped me rejuvenate my strength. Another year has gone by leaving me bruised, worn out, critical and a little wiser. All in all, it has been an overwhelming ride!

And then I started writing My Frame of Mind late summer last year. It started as an idea to reconnect with my writer mode. I always wanted to write earnestly. I had stalled my capricious thoughts but I was short of confidence and determination on this front. However, it has been an amazing journey which led me to express all the random thoughts twirling in my head (and heart) despite the time and my laziness factor coming as a road block. It has been special and this year I hope I can speak more and draw you all closer into my life including my private life which hopefully I’ll be posting soon. As clichéd as it may sound but I couldn’t have asked more than this, really I couldn’t have. I look back on 2010 and the memories created with a lot of gratitude.

As a kid I have known (and I still do believe) that what you do on the 1^st of January determines what you will do for the rest of the year. I spent my day without anything to worry about; I’m ready to take on the world. Are you? HAPPY NEW YEAR to you, to all my fellow bloggers and all over the world! I hope that all of you joyfully start yet another journey and make it a wonderful experience. Let’s ring in 2011 by wiping the slate clean and start anew. Well, I can feel the air of positivity and am looking forward, hope you do. Here’s to the start of the second decade of the century! Opening of new doors! New beginnings! New hopes and aspirations! New resolutions! New us! A great and Happy year! Bright and Promising! Happy Times! 2011 has to be only GOOD for everyone! So dream big.

Lolay!

Live, laugh and love, JC

PS. I woke up thinking about the following piece this morning while I caught myself chewing on it last night before I dozed off:

"Let this coming year be better than all the others. Vow to do some of the things you've always wanted to do but couldn't find the time. Call up a forgotten friend. Drop an old grudge, and replace it with some pleasant memories. Vow not to make a promise you don't think you can keep. Walk tall, and smile more. You'll look ten years younger. Don't be afraid to say, 'I love you'. Say it again. They are the sweetest words in the world." Ann Lander

PSS. Simple and effortless things to do ain’t they? So all set, eh? Two days in, how's it going?

TIME TO CELEBRATE AND BE HAPPY!!

2010-12-27T16:07:00.000-08:00

Last week I took my very last three days ‘Casual Leave’ for the year (Wow! It was worth saving out of ten!). After two solid years I had gone to my village (Shershong) in Gelephu to perform one-day Lochhoe. Lochhoe is an annual festival conducted mostly by the western region in the country and is an integral part of our folklore. It is with the belief that the end of the year is the right time to start afresh with renewed hope for a prosperous new year in terms of health, wealth, crop yield, success, etc. It is the time to pay our reverence to God for his benevolence, everlasting care and divine company for the year that just passed by. It is also the only occasion wherein all family members, relatives, friends and neighbours gather together and rejoice unconditionally.

The day is preceded by morning Thub (porridge) which is my favorite part of the course meal for the day. We would set everything ready from the previous night only. People who practice this ritual in some part of the country have started to abstain from non-vegetarian food for this particular day which is a noble initiative taken by them. We are hoping that the rest of the cohort members will follow the suit as well in near future. The host would invite all the fellow villagers within and make them eat everything, literally a ceremonial meal! From morning Thup & breakfast to afternoon refreshment & Soew (lunch) to evening Shamdrey (fried rice) & tea to Tsho (dinner) with of course Beer & Ara (this thing they call it distilled water). Surprising my Aunt this time added a variety of wine like Santa Barbara, Wedding bells, Zinzy, Figueira in the shopping list (she said that her guest friends now preferred these brands of wine over beer).

As the ritual comes to an end, the family members are asked to come inside the altar room where the Lama and other monks are reciting various mantras. This time, my mother, my niece and I went inside and sat listening to them praying for my family. As they continued praying, we were asked to keep a bowl each in front of the altar. We then threw the rice grains in the air, few grains happened to get inside the bowl filled with ara. They say that, more the number of grains inside the bowl, more happiness will be in stored for you for the New Year. As these are honest revelation, you can’t help but accept them. I’m happy that my bowl contained lots of rice grains than I expected. Moment of Bliss! It is one of those glorious experience that you get it once every year, people having faith in those citations of religious mantras, offerings to God, your fellow villagers and the God himself.

Now wandering away from it, as I headed off to sleep I spent some time to think about how beautiful the world must have looked in the west with lights all around as they celebrated the biggest holiday - Christmas (though people have started to celebrate this part of the world too. If I may, I would like to call it the influx of western cultures. Bhutanese today celebrate almost every international occasion for whatever reasons). “Christmas is just weird. What other time of the year do you sit in front of a dead tree in your house and eat candy out of your socks?” Wait, that wasn’t me at all. I just quoted from the Funny-One-Liners which I happened to come across on twitter.

The whole picture of Christmas dominated around a jolly red-white-suited and white-bearded Santa Claus flying on his red-nosed reindeer, slithering down the chimneys (every December) with a huge bag filled with attractively wrapped Christmas presents when I was young and innocent. Even Santa Claus had the right thought of visiting people once a year like our annual Lochhoe which brings together the whole family and the community. God knows who introduced this ‘ho-ho-ho-jolly-man’ version of God to me then. It always kept me wondering how he could make our wish come true. How on world did he handle the never ending wishes of ours? I was told that he would grant wishes if only you have been a good person throughout the year. Well now there is something to contemplate, is it bad for us to believe in it with an unbridled faith, if this turns us to a better being? If it scares us of indulging ourselves in wrong deeds? If it motivates us to do good work? I hope Santa was good to you. I hope Santa brought you everything that you ever wanted, that you so well deserve. Anyone get anything good? Well your answer explains if you have been naughty or nice throughout the year. So you better behave well next year on if your wish depends on Santa.

This has been a season for family and friends to come together and be jolly. Lochhoe in a way lets us return back to the society where we truly belong and rejoice in what we have been practicing for yonks. Christmas has been the time to give not only gifts but joy and happiness wholeheartedly. There is this beauty of Christmas in making us still hope for our wishes to come true this year, if not next year and in the coming years. It is the best part of the year with such festive spirit in the air and the whole family and community coming together beautifully to celebrate the occasions. While everyone is busy making plans to welcome the new year, I’m heading to enjoy the last day of the season of giving, thanking God for the love, laughter, happiness and my holiday here. Indeed a lot of reasons to be happy. So continue extending happiness and keep smiling. Until next year!

Festive JC

PS. Happy Lochhoe to those observing the ceremony in coming days! And Merry Christmas again to those celebrating! Have a fun and safe holiday!

Jingle all the way!! The Santa me (it was shot in 2008)

LOOKING INTO THE BHUTANESE HISTORY & CELEBRATING!

2010-12-20T15:59:00.000-08:00

On 17.12.2010 with much splendor and solemnity, we observed the ‘103th National Day’ celebrations in Punakha. The solemnization started with the hoisting of our National flag and singing of our National Anthem filling us with pride and connecting us to our roots. Almost every Bhutanese, the old and young were beyond impatient to watch and listen to the live broadcast of His Majesty the King’s National Day address on BBS tv/radio. The day was celebrated with various cultural dances and sports event.

Hoisting of our National flag, Lekithang, Punakha (17.12.2010)

Calm and safely guarded till ‘Tashi Lebay’ movements started to end the celebrations, it left me with an abrupt moment to pause and reflect. It was then I tried to go back to the past and look into the future. 103 National Days of peace and stability, is a great number of years to reach. As a student I remember studying about this significant day in my history lessons during my high school days. I wasn’t good in remembering the historical timelines but I was pretty interested learning about the times of yore. I still love history. I have lots of historic figures that I admire and celebrate (more on that some other day). And today with a dogged persistence I recall few of those-boring-history-classes to instigate as I compose about the observance of this important event.

Our history dates back to Eighth century with the visit of Guru Rimpoche from India who brought Tantric Buddhism in Bhutan. Another important event in the timeline was the arrival of Zhabdrung Ngawang Namgyel from Tibet in 1616. We still remember and credit him for the construction of most distinct Dzongs, unifying the country and leaving us the Bhutanese National Identity. It was Zhabdrung, supposedly the first ruler of Bhutan who established the dual system of government with a spiritual leader and an administrator leader which still exist to this day. Bhutan emerged as a country having its own share of occasional Tibetan invasions, numerous civil wars and ungracious encounters & Treaties with the British. But there is this singular distinction in the ‘History of Bhutan’, we were never colonized (yes, we were never colonized!) and its one thing that we Bhutanese are proud of and swank about.

The hereditary monarchy was instituted in Bhutan with Gongsar Ugyen Wangchuk as the first king of Bhutan. It was Gongsar Ugyen Wangchuck who gained control and ended many years of civil war, and marked the beginning of unprecedented peace, unity, progress and prosperity in the country. On December 17, 1907, sir Ugyen Wangchuk was unanimously enthroned as the first hereditary monarch of Bhutan inside Punakha Dzong (It’s a proud thing for me to be working in this historic place with one of the most memorable landmarks in Bhutanese history. Somehow I can’t stop getting obsessed of this magnificent monument). They really couldn’t have made a befitting decision. This day is celebrated as National Day of Bhutan.

Every nation celebrates National Day under many other symbolic titles for instance Independence Day or Republic Day expressing pride, identity, sovereignty, independence and freedom. It undoubtedly holds a special significance of commemorating the birth of an independent nation. As a Bhutanese we honor it every year with almost everyone partaking in this national event all across the nation. What comes to your heart when you think of December 17? What flashes inside your mind when you think of December 17? What does the National Day mean to you? What does National Day connote in your world? What’s the significance of National Day in your life? I’m supposed to get the answers before I even complete my questions (I hope you could provide me with when you read them).

Statue of His Majesty the fifth King brought in for the procession.

What separates and distinguishes this national event from others is the fact that almost everyone recognizes the significance of the day. It provides us with a pleasant opportunity to remember the past that took a step into such a future (not to forget the implausible transfer of powers). It is indeed the day for us to pay our homage and tribute to our forefathers, Zhabdrung, the first king and the successive benevolent monarchs thereafter for guarding our sovereignty. It endows us the platform to apparently ‘renew ownership of the nation’. Essentially it is the day for every Bhutanese to celebrate and evoke the patriot within us and be responsible to protect and safeguard the peace, sovereignty and security of our country.

I’m blessed to have born in this blessed kingdom under the leadership of inspiring monarchs. I’m proud to have gotten the domination to write Bhutanese (every time) against the blank box of Nationality option in those obligatory forms. May the ‘sun of happiness’ as they label continue to shine for years to come. As we close this door of a fine Bhutanese history and open yet another door to a new era, let us re-affirm our commitment to serve the “Gyeb, Gyelkhab and Meser”, the Tsa-Wa-Sum on this day. Hope we can free ourselves from corruption as we contribute in shaping the nation, be the country Zhabdrung and the monarchs of Bhutan aspired for and pass a happier Bhutan to the Gen Next.

I read somewhere that “No matter how much you do for your country, it pales in comparison to what you take from her”. So wave your flag and never get tired of being a Bhutanese. Happy 103rd National Day Bhutan! May we enjoy another gazillion years of peace, shine, prosperity, growth and happiness!

Palden Drukpa Gyalo!

A Proud Bhutanese, JC

PS. We have come a long way, enjoy the freedom, stand up & take responsibility for the state of our country today and in years from now.

ENCHANTED TO MEET YOU!

2010-12-06T15:21:00.000-08:00

For all this while, I was wondering how I would pen down my thoughts in writing. I must say it took a while for me to write this one. I always wanted to tell the story of us, about how we met and how time flew by instantly. Flash rewind and the story starts. It was one beautiful summer where I had it all. You were right beside me and things couldn’t be perfect than that. We were taking on the world together for a day. Less did I know then that someday I would relish it like I do now, with so much of doting. It was like the best thing that’s ever been mine.

I had talked with him for less than one minute in library back in college. Perhaps we had passed by each other every time we visited library. We shared the passion of reading books. It was only after our graduation that we accidently met on an official meeting. We became friends since then but we hardly met. And one day on his supposedly birthday, he had sent a handwritten note asking me ‘will you be my date?’ I was like ‘did he lose his marbles?’, but then I thought ‘ok, I could suffice that for his birthday gift’. He wasn’t a bad idea after all.

After breakfast, he picked me from my place which was actually one hour drive from his place. The date actually began officially at 10:00AM. I had a beautiful card waiting on the passenger’s seat of his car. It had the name of my favorite place. He had played all my favorite songs throughout the entire ride. We talked about our life, family, friends, interests, future plans, everything like it was the first time we had met on Earth (maybe it was). We cut my favorite cake to start off with our eating binge. The food was too good (took me by surprise that he had taken into account that I was a vegetarian). For the first time in life, I could savor the real taste of wine.

After lunch, there was another card waiting me on my seat. It had the name of his favorite person that we were about to visit - his grandpa. I had never imagined he would want me to meet someone else on our date. After few hours of drive, we reached his village. It brought tears in my eyes to meet his 93 years old grandpa who blessed me with all promising good wishes (my marriage included). We cooked dinner together. As we were about to leave the place, I was taken aback to see his grandpa hand over a card to me. This time it was my favorite thing waiting for us. We went to karaoke and sang all the songs we possibly could. Later I was expecting another card after he walked me home. But to my disappointment there wasn’t any last card. Annoyed yet smiling!

I had never felt so happy being with a GUY-guy ever. Close enough to what I was hoping, when I got home, he had emailed me saying “I had the best day of my life with you, today”. Wishful thinking but ain’t I the ‘lucky one’ here?

I ask did you believe what you just read. Well, I say don’t believe everything you read. I guess the best way to describe it is…ummmm...it’s an untried piece that I attempted to write about the best first date I haven’t had yet. I’m neither dating anyone nor even in the beginning stages of dating anybody. I’m all by myself and I got this idea listening to Taylor Swift’s latest album “Speak Now”. I just figured out that I had to speak up too. I wrote it keeping in mind about a guy who I once had dreamt of. He was somebody I was just wonderstruck meeting. To this day, I have never met him. And he has no idea about our meeting either. It just all came together and I felt like I needed to write about. So here I’m trying to write as a, “Hey, this one’s actually for you to let you know that I’d like to obviously meet you soon”. It's sort of the first open letter that I've written to anyone.

I have never been fascinated by what we call “date” but for a moment I wanted to be strangely awestruck by it. Most of the people fantasize about going on their ideal date. They either dream about a romantic walk along the river bank or a movie and a restaurant after; some even book a table in a fleshy restaurant; rose and chocolates; best wine and favorite cuisine, making it exactly like what it takes in the movies. It’s not me saying that I would like to have my perfect date but I think sometimes its fun to write about it. For me, It was about a guy I never dated but I thought was decent and charming, and I never really got to talk to him much. Just being with him for a fleeting moment and watching him enchant me (still in my dreams) inspired me enough to put it in words. I guess you don’t have to date with someone to have the best date ever. And sometimes it’s not about what you went through, it’s about what you wish you had.

Most of us are so diffident that we cannot even say the right thing at the right moment or for that matter the wrong thing at the wrong moment. Am I confusing you with these rights and wrongs? I mean there’s this moment of letting the moment pass without saying anything. There’s this enormous fear which holds us tightly. And later on we land up with a sense of regret looking back at the moments we didn’t speak up. Usually people like me write this kinda piece and then they usually don’t share it. I suppose by putting it on my blog I’m pushing the share button so that this dream guy would accidently get to read it one fine day.

Enchanted JC

PS. Speak now to whosoever you have something to say (might read it when you least expect them to).

Couldn't show the Enchanted face!

GEARING UP FOR WHEN WINTER COMES!

2010-11-15T16:07:00.000-08:00

Hiya lovely people! Howdy! How did the weekend find you? How have I fared? There was a last minute call from work on my weekend. So today I started my day at six; was gleefully welcomed by the chilly morning. After running errands for my household chores I drove to this place called Limbukha for a meeting. It’s about forty five minutes drive from where I live. Here too I was welcomed by those chilly winds, this time a little stronger. These receptions on my weekend made me realize that it was time I set up for another season and be a good host by welcoming it warmly. As a Bhutanese we believe that Blessed rainy day sets the trend of welcoming the winter. But it’s now that winter is seriously taking its toll. I can guarantee with the chilly feel to my nerves and bones, a lot of good stuffs along.

As I prepare myself to blog right now, I’m laying on the cushion wearing a fleece sweater and wooly socks. I’m all warm and ready to write about the wintry cold. I’m so excited as well as so agitated about the winter. But still warm enough that I wanna take a couple of minutes and invite you to join me on to my winter mode.

I love this time of the season for the whole idea of wearing fluffy caps, colorful hand gloves and scarves, and warm boots on a cold day out. I’m not a fan of over coats but I love sweaters. There is something warmth about the coldness with the winter. When the whole populace of the town is glued to their fireplace, all you want to do is something cool. There is this crazy feeling where you want to take a walk when it’s literally cold outside. Sometimes rather than sticking to the fireplace there is this allure of going for a long walk. And I’m one of them who are so into taking that insane cold walk (would love an ice with it). It's one of those having a 'Bliss Moment' in your life.

As a child (till my graduation) I loved winter for the reason that we used to get holidays. I would always look forward to the winter breaks; a long stretch of holiday after anxious months in school. I used to love everything about this time of the year, mostly because it used to be the perfect time for me to be with the loved ones back home. As I push the present button nothing has changed except that it’s gotten colder. Each year the winter gets colder than what I expect. Could we blame on to the globally acknowledged Global Warming that’s showing its global power!

There is something untoward about winter that I hate the most, especially when the winter seems to have truly set in. I detest the part where the cold days drag on and make me unbearable to take off my private jet to the other world (my dream land). My hands and feet are never warm. It takes me hours to fall asleep with my feet as cold as ice. I loathe the third and fourth month of the winter when I get sick of cold and wearing thick clothes. It’s kinda boring when you have to wake up with the foggy morning every other day. The sun frequently doesn’t show up (a smile lightens up when you get to see the feeble rays of the sun only to see it disappear behind those oversized clouds). And it starts to get dark early. I really start to hate the cold so much that I cosset myself on house arrest when I’m not at work. Once I’m inside my house, I don’t feel like stepping out only. I just feel like curling up in room and watch a marathon of movies or drama series, all warm and fuzzy.

But there is something else I still love about winter. I love the rare rains which pour to make winter months even colder. And as I write this blog I’m excited to share that it’s actually happening outside. Love the sound of the rain pattering on the window sill. There is something beautiful and profound about winter rains. As much as rare and inimitable it is, makes me wistful. It is so romantic and dreamy. When it does come, just feel like at that moment I could hold on to it tightly.

While we are still talking about winter, how can I not shower you with the cousin snow? Honestly, I have never got an opportunity to play with snow ever in my life. Say what with an exclamation (WHAT!) but don’t you dare giggle when I say this. I’ve always lived in places where there is no snow fall in winter. Consequently, I never got a chance to experience the whole adventure of playing in snow. I hope I do get to make snowman this winter. I have read about the snow-flakes that no two are alike. So I would like to know from you who have actually played with snow, is it?

As I set myself for winter where the weather is wonderfully cold, you stay healthy and keep yourselves warm. Till the spring comes back to see off the winter, let’s reflect on what Camus realized:

In the depth of winter, I finally learned that within me there lay an invincible summer.

Cold yet warmly, JC

PS. My gut feeling says that I’ll get to experience the first ever snowfall in my life one of this chilly wintry day. Who’s joining me for a game of snow fight?

Winter is nature's way of saying, "Up yours." ~Robert Byrne

THE HOSPITAL STAY

2010-09-27T16:39:00.000-07:00

So what’s up with the world? How have you been? What's happening in the world? Anything new??? That’s would be a few simple questions that could be answered in a blink of an eye, eh? I have another question coming next that would lead you to pause and think. Have you ever have wondered, while you were enjoying the bliss of good health, how people someplace else in the world were? Questions galore!

For last two weeks, I have been visiting JDWNRH frequently. My fifty-two years old Mother Bhutan had broken two of her left leg bones after slipping inside the bath room. Like her, few others (be it as old as 60 year old woman or as young as 1 year old kid) shared her fate of not being able to walk. At first, it was very prickly for me to accept the fact that she was actually, in real, admitted in the hospital. I’m not used to this kind of situation, especially happening in my family. By the God’s grace things had always been a little finer until today. I’m not grousing though.

I have always been abhorrent towards visiting hospital my entire life (I’m due three months to visit the dentist). I don’t like people being sick. It’s something that makes me nervous, edgy and anxious. But it’s overwhelming to see these patients with positive mind force. I had never imagined or thought that these excruciating patients would have calm and peaceful reaction towards this fateful side of life. I was moved by how they consoled each other with sanguine reasons for their stay in the hospital. They were like one big family with six different enduring patients from different parts of the country hanging out together, ecstatic and happy. The room was filled with positive vibes. It reminded me of the story we read titled “The Window”, wherein the blind roommate beautifully describes to the other man about wonderful things occurring outside the only window in their room. “Indeed the blind man just wanted to encourage the other man”.

I have seen from the eldest and strongest one to the youngest and fragile one crying out of pain. It was agonizing to see how they survived each sting. I have also seen these heads with strong hearts teasing one another and adding joy into each other’s pain. At night when everyone had gone to their dream world, it led me to stay awake and reflect. May be it was a sign from God that these apparent patients needed to rest and not stress too much. That’s why they met at this juncture at the same time and became a family so that they could happily live a tiny part of their life with the strangers at one point. On the other hand, as an attendant we were also writing new-fangled memories yet into another chapter of our book. Even I made few friends while I was there. We would sneak a moment to go around the place and talk about our own lives. Some moments were emotive, especially when the old lady used to scold her two sons out of affection. In return both of them used to get on her nerves, again out of affection. And sometimes it was funny when the daddy dear used to leave his three year old unwell son alone for the love of television. This little one even used to sing song for the others when pain left his body for a brief moment.

"I believe every day your life speaks to you - through every experience, through the people you meet and even through pain, fear and self-doubt." Those avid readers will be familiar with this line by the renowned Oprah Winfrey herself in one of her issue of ‘The Oprah Magazine’. Past few days being in a hospice, undeniably a different world for me has proved it absolutely true. Despite the pain and distress, I was enthused to welcome every single day, eager to witness what unfolded next in that common room. It made me wonder after we go our own ways from here, if we’ll ever meet again at another place. I’m sure when you get to read this, everyone are feeling better than ever. I can only pray and wish they get healthier and happier each day.

Now let me get back to another question. Do you ever think while something is happening, about what’s happening someplace else? You never know what might happen, right? As the bed gets empty, someone out there must be bracing to fracture his/her leg to fill in the empty bed. So take care of yourself. Be healthy. Take some time to rest and relax, time to time.

Attendant, JC

PS. Please be careful next time you visit your loo. Unfortunately or providentially you might be the one filling in the empty bed.

TRUDGING UP THE SACROSANCT HILL!

2010-09-20T04:56:00.000-07:00

Caution: I’m not preparing on writing a travel journal here. It’s another thing that I share the passion of backpacking, trekking and writing on the colossal experiences gained while taking each walk. However, today I’m on an attempt to share my recent experience walking on a virtuous march. It was a straightforward suggestion one of my friend who is currently working as an ICT officer in the same office recommended me to pen down my experience in writing. So I thought maybe I could actually write my first one apart from my regular official tour report.

The nature of my job demands lots of travelling at this stage of my career ladder. More of village tours which requires pretty much of energy to hike and rare ex-country tours (But I’m not complaining!).

On the 14th of September 2010, work kicked right after breakfast at around eight in the morning. A team of three including myself, Aue Wangchuck and Dimpoen Chandra Lal Limbu was all set for site verification of Aazha Thinley’s house evidently attacked by a bear at Yobo. Little did I know that we would be also making a trip to Goensephu (more on this later).

It’s about an hour drive from Khuruthang towards Gasa to the road point (the place is known as Tshorimo) from which the walk starts, after descending down to cross the female river (Mo Chhu) over the longstanding suspension bridge. Thereafter, it is a steep climb upwards to the destination: Yobo village. I was told that it usually took about two and a half hours to reach Goensephu Monastery. No, I wasn’t discouraged by the hours that I had to walk. I have learned and believed that at the end of the day, I would ultimately get the immense satisfaction unknown at that point of time. I was sure that I would be able to witness the worth of my breathless moments upon reaching my destination.

The background score for the entire hike was titled “natural” by various artist viz., river, wind, brook, birds, leaves and insects. For the whole day, I was away from Gaga, Maya, Perry, Lovato, Heap, JaySean, Cruz, Rihanna, Guetta, Scherzinger, Timbaland, Cyrus (my-comrades-when-alone), yet I didn’t feel like I missed them. I must say I didn’t miss my favorite playlist, not even for a moment. The weather God favored us by not playing the big boss, to not let it rain. It led me inanely wondering if this was going to be effortless. Everything was so perfect minus my short breaths and frequent urge for respite. We were welcomed by Aazha Thinley with tea and zoaw at Phaenga Pokto, supposed to be the resting point. We were quite proud of the progress we had made. It took us almost two hours from the road head till Chakazhing (a village before reaching proper Yobo) where we had our early lunch at Aazha Thinley’s newly constructed house. We were full of vigor again; all set to finish off the march.

While my feet walloped audaciously over the mucky mule track, about half a score of the determined leeches climbed up my mud-soaked boots. Fortunately Dimpoen Limbu chivalrously plucked them off for me. The climbing and plucking session went about for an hour which brought us to Yobo, our primary purpose for the visit. (I would like to skip the official agenda).

With Aazha Thinley in front of his house in Yobo

As soon as we finished off our site verification, spirits still high, we planned on visiting Goensephu monastery. All through my stay here in Punakha elders have spoken reverently of the place. I had always wanted to visit the place since then; it was just that I didn’t get an opportunity to. Time was the factor that always decided my plan. And today when we got the chance after coming this far, we didn’t want to return back not visiting this sacred place. Another hour’s walk of yet again plodding through the mud brings us to Goensephu.

“And there, ahead of you, is the holy Goensephu”, Aue Wangchuk said with a sweaty yet glowed face. It started to drizzle after that. “When it rains, it’s considered as an auspicious sign”, said Aazha Thinley teasing me that being the only female in the group, I must have carried the good luck (Oh! How I wish I did). With each rain drop falling on our head and auguring propitious omens, we were feeling content and blessed. We couldn’t have wished more than that. Today as I write in some incomprehensible way, I feel as if Goensephu had done this just to welcome us. I bowed my head and made my prayers. It was great to see Guru sitting happily at home. It’s amazing how our culture is so rich and of course inexplicable in its own ways serving as a source of inspiration to many like me.

Goensephu

It is said about the Place that, while Guru Rinpochoe (Padmasambhava) was meditating in Maratika Cave (in Nepal), Khandum Yeshey Tshogyel’s requested him to visit the place. Upon Khandum’s request, he is said to have visited the place in some eighth century where he mediated for two months in a cave (the present monastery site) and blessed the place with spring water (Drubchu) for long life. The legend has it, the caves of Maratika and Goensephu is said to be incomparable in terms of the blessings. The caves are a venerated site of pilgrimage associated with Guru Rinpochoe, Khandum Yeshey Tshogyel’s and longevity. Many pilgrims visit this site in the quest for long life.

Tshe Yi Bumpa

Inside the cave, there is a stone shaped like Bumpa (Tshe Yi Bumpa), the Ambrosia water from which is supposed to bestow long life upon whoever drinks it. Inside the monastery, there are about twelve books of scriptures for long life (Tshe Yi Paychha). When you climb a big rock above the cave, you get to see Guru Rinpochoe’s hearth (Thap). Disappointingly it was so slippery I couldn’t climb up the rock to see myself this time. Inside the cave, you can also see twenty one seats of White Tara (Jetsun Dolma), also known for compassion, long life, healing and serenity. Outside the Monastery, on a big rock you can see the Aah born naturally (Aah Rangjung). I hope my pictures speaks a thousands words too.

Aah Rangjung, can you see it?

After paying our homage to all these important sites, I bid farewell to the Khenyger and Anims. I’m still content and more than happy to have tripped this holy site. With the remaining verve, we walked down the track. Until I saw it from a distance, I quietly turned back and made a prayer to come back soon and this time with you.

With the Host

I love visiting religious places. There’s always this encompassing peace, positivity and serenity about them in disparity with our avaricious world. You see, like I mentioned in the beginning, for every footstep that we took, for every time we ran out of breath, for every sweat that dropped, for every moment that we felt like giving up, for every discomfort we endured the entire day, the walk was worth. I consider myself lucky when work can make you feel this way: truly happy. I’m counting my blessings! Clearly a day off was not on the cards the next day, however, I could only wish for an unwinding night that evening while returning tired back home.

I’m planning to visit the Monastery again to see Guru Rinpochoe’s Thap before I get posted somewhere else. Till then, muster up the energy to walk with me. What say? I say let’s WALK ON!

Climber, JC

PS. Next time we walk that road together, I mean TOGETHER, you and me!!!

I'VE GOT A MAIL

2010-09-06T17:10:00.000-07:00

To: JC, Punakha

From: DC, Phuentsholing

This sure is snail mail. I received your letter on 23rd; almost a month since you wrote and you also received my mail very late. I had been expecting your reply and I have been checking the post box every other day.

A promise is a promise and if we don’t keep a promise we made, we rather not make it in the first place. I guess you will agree. Some people make promises just for the sake of it and they don’t know the value of a promise. Many people broke all the promises they made to me. It does hurt but I have learned to move on even if it is with the hurt.

There are times in life when life jolts us and we are surprised. Our wishes don’t get fulfilled often but there are times when they are. So this letter writing wish was one of the get-fulfilled kinda wish.

… … …

Of course we will see how long we will be able to go on with this letter writing wish of ours. Till next time. We should tell Bhutan Post to speed up. LOL.

Hugs!

That was a tiny fraction of a letter I last received on September 1, 2010 from my new pal who lives few miles away. I would have loved to share the whole letter but I’m sure my pal would not approbate to it and hence to protect the privacy, I’ve referred to us by initials only and the addresses are missing too.

LETTERS! I’ve always loved writing letters especially to my close friends (except in schools when we had to write for some English paper in a freezing examination hall). We would write all those stupid and nonsense in it. Fill the letter with every little detail possible of things going around us. Before when we didn’t have an email account, we would frequently write letters. It used to take me hours and hours to conclude one single letter. Somehow or the other, I could not stop writing once I began. There was so much to write and time was never a setback then. But now, with the busier schedule each day (at least I claim to be busy now and then), people hardly have time to write letters. It’s heartrending that people have actually given up writing mails. Instead Emails have replaced letters as a medium to at least keep in touch and share about each other’s happenstances. Now people are patiently waiting for one of us to email. But I’m still waiting for people to send me a hand written mail. There’s always this unusual charm of ‘hand written’ letters (however the handwritings may turn out). And in return, the least we can and need to do is graciously reply back.

Oh, I love reading letters too, a lot actually (except those with official seals on it). I can go on reading books with full of letters in it. I especially love reading all those love letters in movies and books. It leaves me all emotional. I’m in awe of how everything can get so romantic and at times heartbreaking. I like to collect those letters from books and movies. In fact I’ve a few collections of them. I like to read them whenever I get caught by my mood swings. I also have a collection of letters, I don’t know since when and I consider lucky enough for having received at least one letter in a year. Receiving them, it has so often made all the differences in more ways than they will ever know. And this takes me back to my new pal and how we got into writing to each other. We’ve been complaining of technology for making people discontinue writing letters but I should also acknowledge it for letting me pen down my thought in my facebook status. It was one fine afternoon on July 20, 2010 when I had mentioned about world that stopped writing letters. Thanks to my new comrade who helped me get what I wanted then. It’s not always that you get your wish fulfilled.

Letters make me go weak. I get back to my normal mood if I receive a letter during my woebegone moments. They have always absorbed me overpoweringly. It’s wonderful how that empty pages gets calligraphed beautifully with wide range of expressions. I can read the same letter again and again. No box is more exciting to open than one treasured with letters. The smell of the old letters with those pages containing meaningful words. Ah, so much so that makes it the most priceless assets one could own. Isn’t it so amazing?

So, fanatics who share my adoration of writing-reading letters let’s bring back the anticipation, keep the flame and carry on the passion for years to come. Give me your permission to hope for the same. I do hope amidst so much of activities in your life, you still continue to write in, especially to your loved ones living at the other end. Who knows you might find yourself fulfilling their long awaited wish along with yours like we found ours.

Until then, while I go and reply back to my new pal, why don’t you go, get hold of a letter pad and start writing too? You never know, you might get a great new adventure waiting for you to be read, the next time you check out your post box or pigeon hole. So, who’s joining me for a game of letter writing?

Mail-y, JC

PS. "What a lot we lost when we stopped writing letters. You can't reread a phone call." - Liz Carpenter

PPS. Keep those letters coming (and going)!

One of my most prized possession: My LETTERS!!!

WELCOMING A NEW AGE

2010-08-30T16:11:00.000-07:00

I celebrated my 27th birthday without a cake exactly one week past. Being a kid, I was never obsessed with all those evening birthday parties which used to be eminent among my other school mates. My parents were not open with those living styles when I was born which prevailed till my youngest sister was born. The way I celebrated my twenty seven years of birthday has seen its own silent, dull, simple, surprising, exciting, lavish and lonely way to greet each new year of my life.

My initial gala started when I didn’t even know my birth date and when I finally did commit to memory (to save myself from embarrassment while filling in all those forms in schools), I was still living in isolation. I remember my real birthday celebration begun when I was in my eight standards. That day for the first time, I distributed sweets to my class. From then on till I graduated, I had been doing that on my birthday – celebrating with my class mates with few special packets of sweets.

Today I realize that there was what we call the “Peer Pressure” that made me kick off to celebrate. Everyone would bring sweets on their special day and before the first period would begin, upon the teacher’s consent, the birthday celeb would distribute it among the class mates. In retrospect, we would be too shy to even wish “Happy Birthday!” But the day I started marking with rejoice, whoa! I was so happy back then. The feeling that day was equivalent to having got distinction in your exams. I’m glad that I at least broke the isolation. I consider it’s important to acknowledge one’s momentous day, be it in a simple or a grand way; the key purpose is what matters - celebrating together!

Birthday celebrations in college used to be my favorite. It was all filled with surprises; surprise cards, surprise gifts and mid night surprise cakes with your name on it. I remember my first ever birthday cake was baked by my elder sister and my gang of girls during my PU days. As a college student, I would be hugely excited, expecting my girls to do something cool and surprise me. In return, I would save my pocket money to treat them with a simple dinner. Life was never short on fun and frolic.

When it comes to my birthday now, I still feel excited. This time, excited to welcome another year to my age. Eager to get judicious and wiser. Whilst I talk of birthdays, things like distributing sweets on my birthday, cutting midnight surprise cakes, treating dinners (at least I make a point that I do treat them), sending cards and chocolates on my friend’s birthdays and lastly a warm hug to end that special day automatically connects together. But birthday in a way also means giving birth to newness; a new day with new hopes for a new year. It calls for a celebration to say good bye to the passing age and welcoming a brand new year.

Today as a citizen of the modern and digital world, we don’t realize but we are very dependent on technology. Thanks to all those social networking sites that keep us connected to family, friends, work, study and life around. They have served as a rich source of instantly updated information which even reminds us everyday on who’s celebrating their birthday. But there are some idiots who don’t know what they are missing. Some days ahead of my birthday, my BFF were talking about how they removed their birthday details from their profile account in facebook. With each additional one year to their age, they now believe that it reminded them of their growing age which sadly is a thing of concern according to them. With the shifting century, the way of life has also shifted. Now, it seems like growing age has replaced the fun loving and spontaneity in our lives. Birthdays have changed people, the kind of person you become at these times. We are afraid of playing the birthday girl/boy for one special day to celebrate anniversary of the day of your birth. Today, the day that you were born, is a precious day. It’s personally significant to me for the reason that I believe it’s a time to thank for being born.

Well, I believe each of us have this birthday personality within. What kind of birthday person are you?

Newer JC

PS. Since we are on the topic of birthdays... I want to thank everyone for all the wonderful wishes. And Happy Birthday to all who is celebrating their birthday on the day they happen to read this!!!!

PPS. By the way, if anyone plans on to surprise me on my next birthday, I would prefer a Black Forest Cake with more chocolate chips on it than usual.

This is what I was talking about earlier, my surprise cake!!!

NEW KID ON THE BLOG

2010-08-23T17:00:00.000-07:00

First of all, welcome to my word space. This is my little space for you, where I can share my thoughts and opinions and you can peek into my world and get to read my honest confessions, interpretations and feelings that I've kept bottled inside. On the whole, it would be a representation of my personality, about who I am, actually! I hope that with my each blog, you can get to know me better and I may even give you a reason to think and you grow up with me too.

Well, it’s always very difficult for me to write anything for the first time. So, perhaps I could start with what, who, how I am in brief. I’m just an ordinary person, nothing very special. I’m a normal being with an identity of my own, always thankful for praise, open to remark and submissive to criticism.

For starters, I’m stubborn and I can get mean when I’m angry. I tend to lash out and say the first thing that pops in my head and believe me, it’s not pretty. I also have a tendency to tell others exactly what I’m thinking, even when I know it would be best just to walk away.

I’m a home bird who is willing to happily curl up on the couch and read a book (with my favorite playlist in the background) or watch a movie at home rather than doll up and head out on a big night on town. I am happy most of the time. I love my job. I have good friends. I have time to read, hang out with friends, go on a solo-drive and do things I love. And of course I’m blessed with you, too.

I hate liars! I believe that there always lies the charm of being truthful. An honest person is more beautiful than anything else in the world. I’m both a planner and a believer in living-by-the-moment. The latter happened when I realized that something else occurred despite my plan. And the former remained attached because I still plan regardless of previous failure. Most of the time, every now and then, I go nuts, but I think that’s normal. I guess, that would be enough of me today, more revelations as I keep writing for days to come.

This would be a NEW START for me with a hope inside my heart that this comes to you all like reading a new book and when you turn the pages, you experience something unexpected. I can promise, you might or will discover some beautiful surprises. But I’m still biting my nails. The whole idea behind my blog started as a lark but now as I start writing my first blog, I realize that it would be a quest of discovery, self-discovery. I have got a lot to share with you. I hope my passion and enthusiasm will make me keep things real and let me be JUST ME! If not I hope to pause (as and when required) and be honest with myself about how far I go and try a little harder. I’m determined to stand strong along the way, each time I feel that I’m slipping away.

Toast to the unearthing of possibly lots of honest reflections and interesting facets. I look forward to keep you guys vying for more.

Enjoy reading!

Enthusiast JC!

P.S. I‘m someone’s nightmare and someone else’s dream girl…LoL…

The new kid on the blog – cartooned ME!!

Lo and Behold!